Mr. Handsome has been on a roll with his blog posts. I hope you all are enjoying his humor as much as I do! And now, another word from Mr. H…
“What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun.”
Has anyone else noticed that us millennials really don’t want to do things the same way our parents did? If our parents did it, it certainly cannot be cool. I have a feeling that every generation throughout history has felt this way. The terms we use to describe what we are change–from “totally rad” to “groovy” to “hip” to “cool” or whatever–but the idea remains the same: We all just want to be more trendy than the generation before us.
I have compiled a list of things that my parents did that myself and other millennials wouldn’t be caught dead doing; but in reality, we rjust do these same things but with different names.
One sure way to be labeled a “fuddy duddy” is to listen to talk radio on the am stations. Whether it’s NPR, Rush Limbaugh, ESPN radio, or Dave Ramsey, if you accidentally land on one of those radio stations, you need to change it immediately, or else you are in serious danger of being labeled dull and boring. I mean who would want to just listen to someone talking on the radio?
Thankfully, us millennials have a much more intelligent way to spend our time. We listen to podcasts. What are podcasts? They are completely different then talk radio. Talk radio is just lamely listening to someone talk about some random subject. Podcasts, are…well….uh…basically listening to someone talk about some random subject. But podcasts are cool because, you know, they are totally different than what our parents did.
We all remember seeing our dad sitting on the couch watching horrible documentaries. I mean, who wants to waste their time learning about sports history, an unsolved crime, or some flamboyant character in history? That feels way to much like school. In fact, some of us even had to watch these boring documentaries in school. Today we have much more interesting things to watch: Netflix Docudramas.
Shows like The Last Dance, Making a Murderer, and Tiger King are “all the rage” among millennials. What are these shows about? Well they are shows were you learn about sports history, an unsolved crime, or a flamboyant historical character. Wait, isn’t that exactly the same thing as a documentary? No way, these are hip new docudramas.
Remember when your parents decided to remodel your childhood home? It was miserable. They took out all the shag carpeting, fake wood paneling, and avocado green bathrooms and painted the entire house beige. How boring! They probably made you help scrape up all the old wallpaper, pull up the carpet, and repaint. Remodeling was just about the lamest thing you could do and certainly nothing you would do now as an adult.
As a millennial, you watch HGTV, and you don’t remodel your home, you do a “home makeover.” You go in and remove all the disgusting beige colors your parents thought were cool and replace them with the new, exciting, trendy color of our time: gray.
Being a Handyman
Remember how your dad could fix anything? He would never call a plumber, electrician, or mechanic. He would never even look at an instruction manual. He would always try to show you how to fix stuff, but you just wanted to play with your friends.
Now that you have your own home, you certainly are not a handyman like your old pops was. You are a DIY-er. You also won’t hire someone to work on your house, but that’s just because you are a millennial and you are broke. You also don’t read an instruction manual or one of those home improvement books they used to sell at Home Depot; you look up how to do things on YouTube. As you can see, a DIY-er is completely different than a handyman
Antique Furniture Collecting
Growing up, you parents had antique dressers, mirrors, and chairs. The furniture could have come from grandparents, flea markets, or antique store. Nowadays you don’t want to look like you are living in the past, and nothing screams outdated like filling your home with antique furniture.
Instead, millennials fill our homes with “reclaimed” furniture, which is completely different than antique furniture. The definition of antiques is “old objects, such as a piece of furniture or work of art, that has a high value because of its considerable age.” “Reclaimed” furniture, on the other hand, is just old junk that has been repurposed. See how much more hip that is?
If there is one thing millennials understand, it’s the importance of farm fresh, pesticide-free, organic, free-trade produce. We understand that mass produced food is not as healthy and may be harmful to the environment. Amazingly, we are the first generation to figure out that getting your produce straight from the farm is the way to go.
Our parents just don’t understand this. They certainly didn’t go to the farmers’ market to get farm fresh. When my parents grew up, they got their food a totally different way. They would…..well now that I think of it, my dad grew up on a farm and grew his own food. And my grandparents…..well come to think of it, my grandma would actually raise and butcher her own chickens in the backyard. But you see, that’s not how you are supposed to do it; you are supposed to go to Whole Foods and spend three to four times as much to buy something that says “farm fresh” on the mass produced packaging.
So there you have it, millennials just do things better. The good news is that I know my children will understand that the way I do things is the best way.