One of our friends, who also has an infant son, is the oldest of 12 children, and her youngest sibling is still a toddler. This friend was visiting her family over the holidays, and her infant started crying inconsolably in the middle of the night. Not wanting to wake up the entire house, she decided to try giving him a bath to calm him down, but as soon as she turned on the water in the tub, the baby instantly stopped crying. Now, whenever their child cries, this couple pulls up a YouTube soundtrack of “rushing water,” and he calms right down.
Mr. H Jr. was a very easy baby for the first couple weeks of his life, but then he became more fussy, so we decided to try the water method. It worked, and we were overjoyed! Rather than waste all my iPhone’s battery life and data, I found a white noise machine on Amazon that has several different sounds, including rain and waves. The brand is Pictek, and it cost under $30. Mr. H Jr prefers the rain sound.
Now I will say that if he is being fussy because his diaper needs changing or he is hungry, the noise machine only buys us a couple minutes of quiet before he starts wailing again, but if he’s crying because he’s tired, it helps calm him and allows him to drift off to sleep. The machine has a 30 and 60-minute timer, so it turns off automatically after the baby is in a deep sleep.
If you’re a parent who has a fussy baby, or if you’re looking for a baby shower gift for a friend or relative, I highly recommend a noise machine. There are a quite a few on the market, but this one has worked well for us. I like that it has a variety of different sounds, rather than just the traditional “white noise” sound. If you’re desperate, you can also try bringing the baby in the bathroom and turning on the bath, shower, or fan. Those methods seem to work for Mr. H Jr, as well.
Diana
We used one for years! Not for fussiness but due to household noise after the baby went to sleep. They are truly wonderful!
Anonymous
How did moms and babies manage for thousands of years without this stuff?
Ellie
I’m not sure, LOL. Must have been tough. 😉
anonymous
Some people say that babies should be allowed to really wail for a long time and have a good cry. It is supposed to be a way for them to release and it probably could have some other positive effects. Like stronger lungs. On the other hand a child with autism used to scream. The parents had to tell people what was going on. Crying is normal, sometimes not. Babies left to cry might cause trouble.
Anonymous
5:01, babies shouldn’t be left in a room to cry at a young age, that’s how abandonment issues are developed.
Regina Shea
When my oldest was born we had a music recording of lullabye music with a mother’s heartbeat playing in the background. It helped to calm her down and fall asleep. We even found some Christian music that had a heartbeat playing in the background.
Ellie
Now that’s a good idea, Regina. I’m surprised I haven’t heard of other people trying that. Makes a lot of sense.
Candi
I’m not surprised at all…that is a wonderful tip to consider for babies. Even I cannot sleep at night without a little noise else all the night sounds would keep me up all night so we keep a floor fan going all night long all year. It’s a very calming noise to fall asleep to. So I can imagine that a little noise for babies would work charms also!
SRB
Two thoughts…
The white noise probably reminds baby H Jr of the way things sounded in the womb.
Also, Ezekiel 43:2 says that the voice of God is like the roar of many rushing waters.
Ellie
Love that verse! 🙂
darlene
as a baby, my older son preferred the sound of the bowling alley. it was never the car ride, it was the sound of the pins lol!
when he was older, he preferred celtic music (so did i!)
Ellie
That’s so interesting! Did you go on a lot of bowling outings? LOL
darlene
sure did lol! we bowled in a couple league twice a week and my husband bowled in a mens league so a lot of the time he’d take him with him just to put him to sleep. also, there’s a bowling alley not too far from our house so he’d drive there with him on the other nights. (of course on the flip side of that, he started bowling before he was 2. he was invited to join a kids league when i was still pregnant with his brother, and they’re 18 months apart!)
Ellie
What a neat story! Has he become a really good bowler? I have never been great at bowling…
darlene
yes, he actually did become a really good bowler! if you had seen him bowl, you wouldnt have known he as only 2, other than his size lol! we would jokingly say he had a ’28 step delivery’ because he was so little and he preferred to stand on the back row of ‘dots’?? (where daddy stood) guess that gave him some momentum for his backswing lol. no one could believe he was so young and really bowling the proper way and without bumpers. my husband was a very good bowler and averaged in the upper 190’s-low 200’s. me, was only in the 150’s. my husband’s grandmother used to bowl 10 pins, candlestick (or candlepin) and duckpins and was quite the bowler herself back in the day (1930’s +) and i guess he just got lucky he takes after his dads side and not mine, lol! he’s 27 now and still pretty good but only gets to bowl every now and then
{to give you an idea of how different the boys are, my middle son who i was pregnant with, did not even walk until he was 18 months old, and here his older brother was already bowling!}
Avie
Ellie, your baby is not being “fussy”, he is a human being trying to let you know that he wants your attention and needs you. You put adult human behaviour markers on his actions which make me wonder wether you really want to be a mom. I’ve noticed this in several posts already. I think you resent your baby for the stitches you had to get after his hirth. I think you are suffering from post partum depression and need help.
Anonymous
I wasn’t going to word it quite like 4:12 but I was going to ask if there might be a good reason for the fussiness that should be attended to instead of soothed away with sound. There was a woman years ago who supposedly decoded what different cry sounds meant in baby language – wet, hungry, gassy, etc. Could be worth looking into. I’d also mention this fussiness at the next dr. appointment.
Anonymous
4:01, I’m assuming you don’t much time around babies. There is no “baby language”, all babies have their own distinct cries. I was a nanny for a baby from the time he was 3 months old until he was 9 months old, and within the first month I learned all of his cries and what they meant. All mothers figure that out, but the first couples months with a new baby are typically harder. Posting discouraging comments on Ellie’s blog are rude and unhelpful.
Anonymous
Anon @ 10:33 – Look up “Dunstan Baby Language.” It’s most effective with newborns.
Anonymous
Sometimes babies get restless, white noise helps calm them. Calling it “fussy” is not wrong. Rude comments like yours are big contributors to PPD. I hope there aren’t any new moms living near you for you to discourage.
Anonymous
That has to be the most ridiculous comment I have ever read!!!! Of course, Ellie wants to be a mother. All babies get fussy at times. I used to play a lullaby cd for my daughter at night to calm her down to help her sleep. Babies aren’t just fussy when they want something. They are fussy when they are fighting sleep. Playing music or white noise helps them sleep.
You sound like a person that doesn’t have any children. Maybe you need to keep your comments to yourself until you have your own. Also saying someone resents their baby due to stitches is just plain ignorant. Having stitches is just part of the birthing process. The pain is always worth it and no good mother blames her child for the pain. Instead we go through the pain again to have more, so we have more children to love.
P
Avie, why post such a cruel comment? Ellie responded to her child’s needs by finding something that calms him.
Your words cutting words have impact on others. Foolishly questioning whether a woman wants to be a mother and diagnosing them with ppd doesn’t help anyone. I hope you turn inward and really assess how you treat others.
Avie
Dear P, I hope you realize that calling normal baby behaviour “fussy” is not right. I hope you turn inward and assess how a mother could call her newborn baby fussy, and not for the first time either…
P
It is normal for babies to cry or be fussy. Ellie isn’t the first or last mother to call a baby fussy. It’s not insulting or mean to the baby, it’s a description of behavior that other parents recognize and normally sympathize with other parents. Do you call adults fussy? I would consider that infantilizing an adult.
d
wow avie! jealous much? can you be just a little more judgemental?? apparently you’re an expert so you obviously know that babies get fussy for a myriad of reasons, including being just plain uncomfortable! your ‘adult human behavior markers’ comment is a riot! i laughed at that one but good. i dont know who you think you are but how dare you come to someone’s blog and accuse them of ‘not wanting to be a mother’. not only do i think you are the one who needs help, but i certainly hope you yourself are not a mother
Märta
Nowadays there is a lot of pressure for moms to be like supermoms. Baby cries? You need to take him to the doctor! You need to carry the baby 24/7 or otherwise he’ll never develope into a decent human being and you have ruined his life FOREVER! You are not listening carefully enought to know wheather he’s hungry or just tired!! And remember nothing can’t replace you, so no baby swings or other gadgets!!
Do you think any generation before us was this fussy when it came to parenting and taking care of babies? Propably not, and most of us still turned out fine! Ellie, you are doing great and I’m glad your baby likes the noice machine!
d
marta,
good point about supermoms! you are so right! and it doesnt help that people like the duggar women, are always getting ‘mom-shamed’ whenever someone doesnt agree with what they’re doing! being a mom is the absolute hardest job in the world, but also the most wonderful!
i have the baby books from the hospital when my husbands mom and uncle were born, 1918 & 1926, and i was absolutely shocked to read ‘not to pick up baby when he cries lest he get used to it’ and ‘baby does not need to be constantly held’!
good thing i didnt have my kids back then because there’s no way i wouldnt have picked up my crying baby lol!
OhioMama
Yes babies get fussy, I found with my oldest son when nothing would calm him, he wasn’t hungry, or needed a diaper change I put him on my chest and let him hear my heart beat and rocked he calmed down very quickly. All babies have a unique way of needing to be calmed down.
Syll
I’ll never understand why people have to be rude ….
One of my grandchildren loved Enya … and would only sleep when this was on
He was sick and in hospital,but whenever we put her on
He would immediately settle .. it helped when having bad days ,
I’m sure Mr H j will settle into a routine soon ..
I hope your feeling great in yourself and getting the rest you need ….
Take care
Regina Shea
Maybe “Avie” is a troll and needs attention. At any rate perhaps this person would be wise to learn a few things from the Bible about taming the tongue and wanting attention. The book of Proverbs has plenty to say about both those things.
Anonymous
My second child was fussy – it started the first night we brought her home !! There was nothing wrong with her. When she was five months old she started moving/crawling around and the fussiness stopped- she was a busy happy baby!!
Kelly
When our son was born, the state of Georgia gave every new infant a CD of classical music to take home with them. Our then Governor Zell Miller was the proponent of this idea because of research that said playing classical music for babies made them smarter. The CD worked wonders putting my hubby and me to sleep but not our baby!LOL However, our son loves classical music and is doing very well in college so maybe it worked after all!
anonymous
This reminds me of the Rhesus monkey experiments
from the 1950’s
https://pages.uoregon.edu/adoption/studies/HarlowMLE.htm
I know the Ellie and Mr H. baby won’t lack physical contact time with his parents.
Anonymous
When my kids were born, someone gave us a gift that was a teddy bear with a recording of a mother’s heartbeat. It worked like a charm.
Anonymous
I agree with Avie! You suppose to let a baby cry and it will stop. If you keep going to the baby they will keep crying.
My sister use to cry alot and my parents would let her cry and she finally stop.
Anonymous
Once again, that’s not healthy for a newborn baby. They are SUPPOSED to be held a lot for the first few months, otherwise they develope abandonment issues, which leads to more crying and restless. Ellie and Mr H are doing a good job, leave them alone.
Marina
We were given a noise machine with our last baby as a gift and we love it! We all sleep a little better with one. However, with our newest baby, we discovered that she loves the Christmas carol “Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas” lol! When she gets upset we just sing that and it works like magic. Babies are so funny!
Eileen
Some comments here just break my heart at the nastiness. Ellie, you are a much braver woman than me to have a blog and share your personal life. This is the first time I have read your blog since the birth of your precious son and why I said I cannot support your blogs anymore. I like to comment but in reading the very negative ones in the past, I found it was really affecting me. I do not know how you are able to just let comments slide Ellie. You and Mr H are such a genuine caring interesting sincere loving couple and I enjoy your blogs a great deal. I thought as a mom and grandma that the suggestion of water sounds and heart beats and soft music so spot on. I did the soft music but never thought of water sounds to calm a baby and it makes so much sense. Thank you for sharing a very functional tip. I am also curious if any of the Duggars have met your little one and celebrated his arrival! You must be like one of the family! Bless you, Mr H and Junior. Eileen
Ellie
Thank you for your kind comment, Eileen! I’m honored to have you as a reader.
Ellie
Lydia
Ellie, I have four kids and I can sympathize with you having a fussy baby! I use the bathroom fans as white noise for my kids/babies. I’m pretty sure it drives my husband crazy! One of my babies went through a really fussy stage around 6 weeks old, and nothing I did could calm her. It would start around dinner time and go until she fell asleep. I tried everything. Changing, feeding, burping, bathing, less clothing, more clothing, swaddling, rocking, singing. Nothing worked. I ended up just holding her close and walking around with her for several hours every night during her fussy time. I figured that if there was nothing I could do to stop her crying, that at least I could hold her close while she cried to let her know that I loved her. Today she is a fiesty and determined little 3 year old and one of mama’s best helpers. So if your baby is fussy, don’t sweat it. You are his mama, and you know better than anyone else what he needs. Someday you’ll look up and he will be a little boy running around, and you’ll wonder how he grew up so fast.
Ellie
Thanks for the encouragement, Lydia! 🙂
Anonymous
Avie was also the commentor who brought up vaccines trying to start something. I think she’s just a troll.
Anonymous
We used a hair dryer. ☺️ You are wonderful parents- the fussiness won’t last long.
Ellie
He loves the hairdryer too! 😉
Ali
White noise machines are essential for every member of my family! My kids are 3 and 6 years old and neither of them can sleep without the rain sounds. It helps them not get woken up by each other or by sounds around the house. I also use one because I have always had trouble sleeping and am a very light sleeper. We even bring the sound machines when we go on vacation. In a pinch we have also used a loud fan or a radio set to static.