Have you heard the news? We’re having a boy! As promised in Tuesday’s post, this is the story of our secret gender reveal party, during which we cut into an “ordinary” chocolate cake that turned out to be a gender reveal cake.
When we first found out we were expecting, we enjoyed keeping the news to ourselves for three months before announcing to family and friends. From the start, I knew that I wanted to find out the gender of our baby at the 20-week ultrasound, and while Mr. Handsome liked the idea of waiting until the birth, he allowed me to choose.
Mr. Handsome was able to accompany me to the gender confirmation ultrasound, which was an emotional moment for both of us. A couple weeks later, Mr. Handsome’s family came to Nashville for an end-of-summer weekend vacation that had been planned earlier in the season, and we decided at the last minute to tell them the news. Sadly, my family couldn’t be with us, but we told them by phone the night before.
I made two, two-layer chocolate cakes and filled the centers with blue buttercream frosting. (Mr. Handsome’s family is too large for just one cake.)
I then covered the tops and sides with white buttercream frosting so the blue was completely hidden. We wanted everyone to think that these were just a couple of ordinary cakes.
Anne, the sister-in-law who is expecting her third child, arrived with her husband and two kids an hour ahead of the rest of the family. After the six of us finished dinner, Anne saw the cakes sitting on the counter and asked for a piece. She is lactose intolerant and had taken a lactaid pill, so she had to consume all her dairy before it wore off.
At that point, no one was expecting a gender reveal. In fact, we had told the family earlier in the week that we were going to keep it a secret for a while longer. Anne would have suspected something was up if we had asked her to wait, so we let her cut into one of the cakes. She was completely caught off guard when she saw the blue frosting and was thrilled to find out that her son will have a playmate just two months younger than him.
After realizing that it was a gender reveal cake, Anne felt terrible, but I assured her that we could just hide that cake in our bedroom and serve the untouched one to the rest of the family. When they all arrived, Mr. Handsome’s 15-year-old sister, Lena, saw the second cake sitting on the counter and said, “I bet that’s a gender reveal cake,” to which I responded, “It’s just a regular old chocolate cake with buttercream frosting.”
By the time everyone had finished dinner and it came time to serve the cake, they were all eager to see if Lena was correct. Mr. Handsome and I played it cool and told them how disappointed they would be if they were wrong. But of course they weren’t, and we got some loud cheers when the surprise was revealed.
Regina Shea
Ellie that’s so cute! I excited for you both. I’m praying for easy delivery and a healthy baby.
Ellie
Thank you, Regina. I appreciate that! Were your deliveries easy?
Regina Shea
I had all c-sections and my recovery was slow. I had sections because my first daughter didn’t want to come out so I had to have a c-section and so after that I didn’t want to try a v-bac.
Ellie
That’s too bad, but I’m glad they arrived safe and sound. I am really hoping to avoid a C-section, but I’m also trying to mentally prepare myself so I’m not caught off guard if it becomes necessary. Do you have any tips on staying calm during a C-section?
Ellie
Regina Shea
Should you need a C-section you will most likely have your husband with you unless it’s an emergency then you would get general anesthesia. I was mostly relaxed because of the spinal they gave me which doesn’t hurt baby at all.
The doctors will be explaining what they are doing but you just lie still. With my second daughter my doctor and the anesthesiologist were talking about something that was hysterically funny and I started laughing which alarmed the doctors. They apologized for making me laugh. Anyway, don’t fret about it right now. Just enjoy carrying your baby under your heart for now because before you know it, you will be sharing him family and friends.
Ellie
I guess it must not have been too terrible if you were able to laugh at a joke. I can see how that would alarm the doctors, though. It’s probably not great for your stomach to be shaking during the procedure. Thanks for your words of encouragement. I am definitely enjoying having the baby “to myself” for right now. It’s fun to feel all the little kicks and share them just with Mr. Handsome. (Some of them are big enough to see now!)
Janine
Congratulation🎉🎉🎈🎈
Ellie
Thank you, Janine!
Anonymous
That is a cute idea to surprise everyone like that. The cake looks like it was delicious and any chocolate cake around my house gets eaten quick. We love chocolate cake with any type of frosting around here.lol
Ellie
Thanks, it did turn out pretty good. I am a cake lover, as well. Mr. Handsome’s parents and siblings aren’t as into cake (they prefer ice cream desserts), but I love it.
Ellie
Ann
Congratulations
Ellie
Thank you, Ann!
Anonymous
Love the story! Ellie, it makes my heart feel good to see you and Mr. Handsome so happy! This baby will get lots of love. You all are in my prayers…Jane
Ellie
Thank you so much for the prayers, Jane. We very much appreciate it.
Ellie
Ellie
I also want to thank you and the other 3 blog readers for the gifts you sent. You are very sweet! Thank you letters are on the way.
Ellie
Andrea
Perhaps this wasn’t intended but to write: “he allowed me to choose“ just screams of patriarchy. Girl, it’s your baby and your body and obviously the father has a very large part to play but to actually write “he allowed me to choose” like the ultimate decision fell to him is sad. Obviously I’m an internet stranger but girlfriend ….
Anonymous
I agree with Andrea. That line stood out to me right away as well. It’s your body, so everything related to the baby should be your choice.
Laura
My thoughts exactly. I didn’t comment because I didn’t want to sound judgemental in this particular circumstance, and I know it’s easy to sound like that even if you don’t mean it.
I think and hope it was just badly phrased. I’m guessing she meant that, while she could have found out and kept it for herself, he gave up his preference of not knowing, to make her happy.
Sure it does sound patriarchal to say “he allowed me to find out”, but by finding out and making it public he basically gave up his preference to go with hers, so I’m choosing to believe that that’s what she meant. 🙂
Even when we don’t agree, let’s just not assume the worst (or what we think is the worst!) 😉
Congratulations, Ellie and Mr Handsome. One of my bestfriends is having a boy too, I just saw her today and at 4 months and a little bit her belly has just popped!
Ellie
Thanks, Laura! 🙂
Anonymous
That’s a cute idea, just found out baby number 2 is on the way and I’m leaning towards not finding out until birth this time around.
Ellie
Congratulations!
Jennifer
Ellie, I had two C-sections. My first son turned breech and became stuck in the birth canal. He was delivered 6 weeks early for safety. I cried at first, as I planned a natural child birth ( no meds). Due to his position- my incision is unique. I was told that a VBAC was not safe. I took a step back, prayed, and knew God had a plan. My 2nd son was 5 1/2 weeks early. I found breathing deep, listening to ocean waves, and praying with my surgeon to be calming and comforting. Blessings for a healthy baby boy💙.
Ellie
Thank you for sharing your story, Jennifer. It’s helpful to hear from other ladies who went through a C-section. 🙂
Tiffany
I have had two csections myself and one vbac . I never planned a c section with my first . I pushed for two hours with my son before we did a c section. Turns out he was face up and stuck and almost 9 pounds. My second I tried for a vbac but he was a surprise breech .
My third I prayed for a vbac but I also had a back up plan for a family centered csection (also called gentle) just in case.
It’s alittle new but it’s becoming more popular .
I did end up getting a vbac this time 🙂 .
I would say it’s best to prepare for both and pray for the birth that God needs us to have for a safe baby and safe mom. My mom had to have two emergency’s csections to save our lives .
Ellie
Thanks for sharing, Tiffany. That’s encouraging to hear that you were able to have a vbac after two C-sections.
Ellie
Anonymous
All I can think is that was just an excuse on Anne’s part. Maybe coming from such a big family with Mr H for a big brother, she had to be witty just to get a share of the food. Hence coming an hour early and saying that….(really wouldn’t she have to wait for the rest of the people to arrive and eat with them anyway? I don’t really buy that line. But to her credit now she is making sure she gets her share at the front of the line, when she is eating for two, one a vulnerable tag along. I guess that is called being a good mom!)
A.
Seems like the only way to get enough to eat and a piece of the cake in Mr Handsomes family, is to be first one to the table!
Justine
How about Kevin????
Ellie
That’s a nice name. Thanks for the suggestion, Justine. 🙂
Anonymous
I love that name! If I ever have a son, that’s one of my top choices.
Ali
I have two children, for my first we found out the sex and told everyone as soon as we found out. For our second, my husband wanted to know the sex and I didn’t, so I let him find out and I didn’t! The nurse wrote it on a piece of paper and gave it to him, and he was the only person who knew the baby’s sex during the entire pregnancy. I thought that was so much fun! I don’t know any other couples who have done it that way, and I’m so glad we did. My husband felt that knowing the sex helped him feel more mentally prepared and bonded to the baby, and I didn’t want to take that away from him by trying to convince him not to find out. On the other hand, I really wanted the sex to be a surprise because I knew I was probably going to have a C-section like I did with my first, and I wanted some aspect of the birth to be “traditional”.
On C-sections, just don’t put too much pressure on yourself to follow your birth plan. C-sections can still be beautiful. During my second C-section I was able to hold my baby skin-to-skin and breastfeed in the operating room right after he was born. The anesthesiologist tailored the drugs to how I was feeling, so I was very comfortable and relaxed. Its important to speak up about how you’re feeling and ask for anything you need. During my first, I was so caught off guard by needing a C-section because I had completely ignored the possibility that it could happen, and I had no idea what to expect and what I could ask for. It’s good that you’re mentally preparing yourself just in case it does become necessary.
Ellie
That’s fun that your husband was the only one to find out. I’m impressed that he was able to keep it a secret! We thought doing that, but I had a feeling I would accidentally slip up and use the pronoun. (And Mr. Handsome agreed that I probably would, as well.) Thank you for the words of wisdom on C-sections. I’m glad to hear that you had a good experience. I was really glad to hear from my healthcare provider that she pushes skin-to-skin time, whether it’s a traditional delivery or a C-section.
Maria
Congrats Ellie! Boys are soooo much fun. I had to have a c-section 3 weeks earlier than my due date. I was pretty sad but it really wasn’t bad at all. My advice is REST if you have to have one. Your body will need time to heal. I felt almost like my own self at about 6 weeks. I slept sitting up the first few nights but after that I was fine. Both my sister and sister in law had c-sections with their first boys 7 yrs ago and they both couldn’t believe how I was healing that fast. I think technology changes so much that they are not as bad as they used to be. Hopefully everything goes well and you will get to snuggle your sweet baby boy before too long!
Ellie
Thanks, Maria! And thanks for sharing your C-section experience. Definitely looking forward to holding our son. 🙂
Ellie
MarriedUK
I have three children (all boys) and three natural deliveries (with no pain relief at all for the latter two). I have concluded that the key to childbirth is staying totally calm and relaxed. I didn’t do hypnobirthing but I did consciously choose to be relaxed. For example, when a midwife rummages around in your nether regions, make a silly joke instead of tensing up.
I also tried to “practise” coping with pain during the pregnancies. Whenever I stubbed my toe or banged into something (by mistake! I never tried to hurt myself), I took deep breaths and didn’t allow myself to exclaim to cry out. I think that helped.
During the labour itself, I tried to give myself over to my body and not attempt to control the situation. Your body has got this! It’s designed for it.*
I loved my labours and felt full of adrenaline for about two weeks afterwards. It was amazing, particularly with skin to skin and speedy breastfeeding. Don’t let daddy/ granny hold the baby until he’s had a nice long feed!
*please don’t think I am anti c-sections. They are sometimes essential and can be magical.
Ellie
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, MarriedUK. I would imagine that staying calm can be difficult, but I can see why it would make things go smoother.
Ellie
Kay
I just wanted to say that I agree that staying calm is so important. With my first I panicked because I had just not expected so much pain, and ended up having to have an epidural because I was so tense. With my second I had learned that panicking only makes the pain worse and was able to go the whole way without it. It can be bad – it can be back pain – but most of the time it is absolutely doable if you can stay calm and relax your body as much as possible.
Ellie
Thank you, Kay! I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
CJOHN
Congratulations!! That’s exciting.
Ellie
Thank you! 🙂
Lisa VK
Congratulations! I am looking forward to hearing (and hopefully seeing pics) of what y’all have planned for your nursery. I’m sure you’re going to have fun coming up with colours and a theme and putting it all together!
Ellie
Thank you, I’m looking forward to it! Hoping to decorate it with Mr. Handsome’s paintings–I’m thinking either ships or animals.
Ellie
Elizabeth T
Congratulations on getting a son. I hope and pray for you and baby and an easy delivery
Ellie
Thank you, Elizabeth! We appreciate the prayer.
Ellie
Ayla
My friend prepared for birth using hypno-birthing and when she went in for an emergency c-section, it ended up benefiting her there too. She was able to remain calm even though that wasn’t her ideal plan.
Ellie
I have heard of hypno-birthing but haven’t read much about it. Thanks for the suggestion, Ayla!
Ellie