It goes by different names, but the love-hate relationship between parents and this tiny piece of rubber is universal. When your newborn is crying his heart out, you love it. When your baby is up at 2am and having trouble settling back down, it’s a great tool. But when your toddler refuses to let it go, it quickly becomes your least favorite item.
I’m guessing you know what I’m referring to. Our son is approaching 18 months old, and we are considering getting rid of the pacifier, or “paci” as we call it. Feel free to share any tips and tricks for this transition phase. Oh, and I would love to hear your name for the pacifier. There are dozens of different names, depending on the country and region that you live in.
Johnna
Binkie
Anonymous
It is truly best not to give a child a pacifier. We can make every excuse why the baby should have a pacifier, but then we complain and tge baby suffers when it needs to be taken away. Why start a habit that will eventually need to be broken. Yes, I know they give pacifiers in hospitals, but they don’t want to hear babies cry all day long and in the end they don’t have to break the habit.
Emily
Recent studies have shown that giving babies a pacifier during sleep greatly reduces the chances of SIDS. One of the main reasons we decided to allow pacifier use!
Anonymous
Anonymous @11:18pm. That not true pacifer.are best to use they keep your teeth straight. I had a pacifer and I never had to have braces on my teeth. They also keep babies quite.
Anonymous
Pacifiers do not prevent braces, but can lead to dental issues. Yes, there is research that a pacifier can prevent SIDS, but the reseaech indicates that the pacifier should be used from the age of one month to about 6 months. Any benefit of the pacifier disappears after 6 months. However, everyone uses a pacifier too soon and for too long a time period. As a adults, we use a pacifier to quiet our child and then make every excuse to justify its use. There was a time when pacifiers didn’t exist and I hope it is eliminated in the future. The baby industry plays on parents fears/ emotions in order to sell merchandise. How much money could be saved by every family if we didn’t buy all the unnecessary baby stuff.
Anonymous
I never had any problems when I got rid of my pacifier. I didn’t get made that I had to give it up.
Anonymous
After the first 5 months of 2020, I could use a paci myself. Send it here.
Ellie
Haha!
Sarah
I started out by weaning my babies off of it during the day first (and also during nap time) they adjusted to that very easily! When it came down to taking it away at night the first 1-2 nights was a little rough but by night #3 we were good to go! If you can make it through 3 nights without giving in then 3 nights is all you’ll need to break him of it.
Marni
My kiddos loved those nukies (there is a brand called Nuk) or pacifiers and it was difficult to get rid of them. Mine had them for a long time- not good but it was so great to calm them. We used to have ones hooked on their jackets or sweaters for going out but eventually they were just used for bed and maybe going out / travel- so they are not running around with a pacificier around the house. I think I remember my son climbing into his bed to get his Nuk. I think finally for one kid, I bought a replacement gift to have in bed or so to make the transition easier. I think for one, I said when the last one broke (they would bite them likely at that stage) We would have to throw it out. I remember my son looking at it in the garbage. I think the replacement object such a new stuffy is great to comfort them for their “loss”.
Anonymous
Umm, I’m wondering why a child that age still has a pacifier?
Sally
Yes because 1 1/2 is entirely too old for a pacifier. 🙄 it’s not like the child is 3 or 4. Get a grip.
Anonymous
Really wondering? Or trying to mom shame? Every child is different. Some don’t like a paci and some can hardly live without one. 18 months is still very young. Perfectly normal to use a pacifier at this age.
Anon
I’m not a parent so don’t have first hand experience but I have seen some 3 or 4 year old children who still require a “dummy”. (UK term)
Anonymous
You can still see a few middle-schoolers sucking thumbs.
Willemijn
In The Netherlands we call it a ‘speen’ or ‘fopspeen’. Speen is an old word for nipple and fopspeen means fake nipple. To me pacifier always sounds like tranquilizer😀. Our son is now 15 months old, but when he was one month old he didn’t really appreciate the pacifier, so we soon gave up trying. So no problems quitting it now! Sometimes in public transport I wish we had had one, but overall didn’t miss it at all. I think it is a beautiful thing letting your baby cry as long as he wants while holding him close to you, instead of trying to get him silent with a pacifier. We picked up this idea from the author Aletha Solter and it worked for us.
Tara G.
We just went cold turkey around 6 months with each of ours (I think?). I did have one child who sucked fingers at night & that was a more difficult habit to break.🙄
Anonymous
Good luck!!! it is a transition time for sure but i am sure it will go well with your patience. When my daughter was little, we called it a sucky. lol
I miss those days sometimes…
you have the sweetest little boy <3
Regina Shea
We called it “num num”. Well he might stop on his own but you might try letting him have it at bedtime. It will be hard but just transition slowly. It may take time but Little Buddy will eventually give up his paci.
Anonymous
My son did not give up his paci until he was almost 3. I come from a family of dentists and all agreed that it wasn’t hurting his teeth so if it helped with sleeping I was letting him keep it. He was only allowed to use it for naps and nighttime. I kept a quite a few in the house when he was a baby and as he got older I didn’t replace them. One day he couldn’t find it and he just said it was gone. It was never mentioned again.
Ann
I think I threw all the pacifiers away except her favorite one, and I kept telling her not to lose it because there was no more pacifier after that. She kept up with it but I had to take it away when she started biting holes in it.
Someone also told me to cut off the tip and keep cutting til it is impossible to keep in the mouth.
Good luck!
Anja from Germany
We have four children. Until their first birthday they could use the pacifier whenever they wanted to. After their first birthday they only got it when they went to bed. And around their second birthday I cut a little hole in it, that it did’nt work anymore. So they threw it in the trashcan. They were old enough to understand that it was now totally broken and gone, but too young to get the idea where to buy it. With all my four children it worked easily this way.
Kay
Yes, I was going to suggest cutting a hole too! It doesn’t hold the suction anymore. My first put it in, took it out, tried again, took it out, and cried some. It lasted a few nights, but it was okay. At least she could still hold it in her hand if she wanted. I had to do it with 1 and a half because she was getting a rash around her mouth. Looking back it could have been from the pressure of wet plastic after washing. With another toddler we just couldn’t find one anymore one day and I decided we’d give it up and didn’t buy any. It wasn’t so bad after all.
Anonymous
This is going to sound harsh, but the first mistake was letting him have a pacifier in the first place. My neighbor’s son used a pacifier until he was five, because he refused to give it up and his speech is almost impossible to understand now, because he was constantly talking around the pacifier. She thinks he may need speech therapy. On the contrary, his twin sister gave her’s up before she was two and her speech sounds very mature. Pacifiers are also choking hazards and are so bad for children’s teeth.
Karli
Pacifers are not bad for you teeth they help your teeth With a pacifer you arn’t bitting anyone. Pacifer are not choking hazards. They are too big to get stuck in your mouth .
I had mine tell I was 3.I never had any problems giving my up. I never had any speech therapy I talked just fine.
Robin
In my house we called them “suckers”. My son was still using his at over two and a half years old. One day we saw some baby squirrels outside in the backyard and he was really excited. We told him that maybe the baby squirrels needed a “sucker”, so he put his under the tree for them before he went to bed. When he got up, he checked and was so excited the baby squirrel had taken it. We never heard another word about it after that. Of course, we were the ones who took it…and all of the others that we could find, after he went to bed.
OhioMama
We call it a Binky. I don’t really have any tips because my oldest stopped using it when he was done nursing, he had no interested in it once he was on the bottle full time at 6 months. My youngest never really depended on them. We used them but not a lot, if he finds one now he puts it in his mouth for a few minutes then throws it away. I know some people have success with just throwing them away. They say the 1st few days are rough but it gets better quick. Others just slowly start cutting the nipple part off until there isn’t anything left. If you look on Amazon there are binkies that are stages to help get baby off them. Good luck with it.
Margaret MacInnis
Sookie.
Like everything else, with a toddler, you might as well take the bullet and do it all at once. Otherwise, they’ll be looking for it forever. Just wait until he’s asleep, and act as if you’ve never heard of such a thing when he wakes up the next day and trash them all.
Ellyn
Aww, Margaret you don’t want to discount a child’s feelings. They get very attached to pacifiers. That would be like not acknowledging that a friend has gone away to never return. It’s best to acknowledge the child’s feelings, and help him work through understanding the paci is now gone <3
Sharon
MY son loved his binkie. When we were ready to be done, we cut the tip off. He said “Binkie broken” and threw it in the trash!
Else
We called it a “pasa”. Or rather my son did because he couldn’t say pacifier and so the name stuck. From the beginning we gave the pacifier for sleep time only. We didn’t want them walking around with the pasa all the time and hoped it would make it easier to eventually get rid of it. My first son had his pasa until 3.5 years old but only for sleeping at home – he didn’t have (or need) one for napping at daycare. One day we just told him it was time. He cried at bedtime for a week but a little less every night and then it was done! With my second son when he was around 2.5 years old we noticed he was chewing holes in his pasa. I would buy new ones only for him to chew holes within 2 weeks. Finally I told him I wasn’t buying anymore and after nap one day I threw out the last one and he was fine at bedtime. No tears! Like his brother by this point he wasn’t using his pasa at daycare either. There’s really no magic solution- it’s whatever works for the particular child and their personality.
Kristy
My kids refuse to take pacis, which is a huge bummer for those times you wish they’d just settle down. I’ve heard cutting the tip off and telling the kid it’s broken haha. Wish I had real advice to give! Good luck!
Anonymous
My son was like your children. He took a pacifier for the first two weeks, after birth, but then he realized that there wasn’t any food in it and kept spitting it out. I gave up after that and stopped trying. LOL
Jennifer
Only my youngest took a “paci”. We had him weaned by 12 months. We started by only having 2 available and he could only have him at nap and bed time. We then weaned nap, then weaned night ( 3 tough nights). He was good to go. Then, at 14 months he had surgery to remove his tonsils and adenoids and the nurse gave it back to him, with permission, for comfort. We tried the same process and it was not successful. We let it go until 18 months and it was affecting his speech. To receive services, he had to be “paci” free- and then my best friend was blessed with her first baby. So when we went to visit, he decided to give them to the baby. We made a show of cleaning them and presenting them ( but of course we threw them away). He was fine from then on.
Wishing you good luck during this transition time. How did 18 months go so fast?😊💜
Anonymous
Redirect attention. Toys and activities are more interesting at 18 months than a chewy pacifier. I was a thumb sucker until the day the SCARY dentist man told me to stop it or I’d ruin my teeth. Never forgot that. My mother used to make me wear mittens to bed so I wouldn’t suck my thumb. I sucked the mitten instead – simple. Some kids are plain stubborn and you don’t know what will be the trigger needed to change that, like a scary dentist. Guess Mr. Handsome will have to play that role!! LOL! No, seriously, be patient and most likely other things will become more interesting than any pacifier and this won’t be a battle of any kind.
Ellyn
We took it away from my daughter when she was a little under 3 and a half. She was very attached to it for naps and overnight. We told her the “paci fairy” was coming to take her pacis away to give them to little babies who need them, and in their place she would leave my daughter a special present.
It worked wonderfully. We got her a few big gifts to make a big deal out of it and left glitter where the fairy had been. She was so excited. Occasionally, she asks for her pacis but we remind her the fairy gave them away to babies who need them, and she has her special gift now.
The transition was not bad at all! 🙂
Anonymous
My kids call it a “fier”. If you do try to go cold turkey and it doesn’t go well perhaps try leaving it in the crib where he can’t reach it and only use it for sleeping. Our two oldest where close to three when they stopped completely (had been only using it for nights for a long while). My son lost his and after awhile of him helping look for it, I told him he would just have to sleep without it and he did. No tears or drama. I later found it and quietly threw it away. My daughter was getting close to three and seemed super attached still so for a few weeks we warned her on her third birthday she was going to be a big girl and throw away her pacifier. When the day came we gave her the scissors and supervised her cutting the end off. That was the end of that, she was fine without it. I’m not sure if either of these methods would work for an 18 month old though..
He may be too young to understand.
As a side note our third never took a pacifier, but became a thumb sucker. Now she is three and a half and will not give up her thumb! She doesn’t just suck it to go to sleep, but all day long. We have tried so many different things but to no a avail. I’d much rather have a baby attached to a pacifier I can pull when I want then have a thumbsucker!
Anonymous
I had a daughter that was a thumb sucker, but I told her when she was was about 13-14 months that she could only suck it in her bedroom. We had just moved from another country when she was 11 months and spent 8 weeks in a motel in transition or I would have told her that at a year. After that she only sucked her thumb at nap bedtime, or very long car trips. She eventually gave up sucking her thumb about age four when I told her she was getting too big to suck it anymore.
Katerra
We have 4 children and all but one took a “pap” or “paci”. I didnt take it from our oldest tol the week before his 3rd birthday. The others was around 18 months as I learned it was really hard to do the longer they had it. We just went cold turkey. Just threw them all out at once and we (mama and baby) cried it out. It was a rough day or maybe 2 but after that it wasn’t bad. If I had to do it over again I’d do it the same way.
JenniferH
My first son was three when he stopped taking it. Around 2 1/2 I transitioned him to only taking it at night. Then at three, one time he was going down for his nap And it fell behind the bed and we couldn’t find it. He was old enough to understand and that was the end of that. Never even fussed about it.
My second son was a few months before he turned 3. I was going through morning sickness with my fourth baby and was too tired to go back to the living room to get it while putting him down for his nap. He drank a bottle anyway and then fell asleep without it. From that point on I never showed it to him again. Lol that really worked out. I know I got lucky with two tear-free experiences lol.
They called it “ra ra.”
My third and fourth never took a ra ra.
I don’t really care about the judgments of rushing it away at a particular age, and I had my fair share of comments and subtle suggestions to take it away. My husband always said it’s not like they’re going to take it to college lol. To teach security to a toddler/child we have to provide it first is the way we see it. and I don’t feel there is a particular time, just do it when you want to And feel ready.
Bridget
We call it a paci.
Best way ever to get rid of it is to cut the top off when your child isn’t looking. When it’s time for bed or when they “need it”, show them the paci and say that it “broke”. Offer it to them and let them put it in their mouth (which is impossible). Your child will learn to not like the paci…
Lyn
We called it a soother, but neither one of my babies took to it. Their “blankies” on the other hand was a different story! They dragged them along till they were just threads. They are in their 30’s and are perfectly fine!
anonymous
With a threat of contact with the virus in the air is icky to think of a toddler popping a paci into their mouth.
Holli
Anonymous @3:51pm. The pacifer won’t get the virus .
anonymous
I closed my eyes and tried to imagine how to transition a child away from this. And my best idea was ice water popsicles. Would that work or are there problems with that idea? Maybe the child would start thinking the pacifier melted away like ice water popsicles will.
Katy
Hi, I used the ‘broken’ method for my son, I wanted to wean him off before his second birthday. You find all the pacifiers (we call them sucette or toot-toots in France) and make a cut at the end of the teat with scissors. The sucking action no longer works and the child considers the paci to be broken. My son accepted that all pacifiers were broken and that there were no more and that was that. I read about it online and was not convinced at all that it would work, but it did! The idea is that children understand the logic of broken things being thrown away and they can apply this logic to the situation.
Annie
In German we call it a “Schnuller” or “Schnulli”. It is derived from a verb called “schnullen”.
I was interested to see exactly what it translated to but couldn’t find a fitting translation.
“Schnullen” describes the action the child is performing with their mouth while using the pacifier – namely sucking/suckling WITHOUT actually expecting to produce a result like being able to drink from a bottle or breast. It is an action for its own sake and the pleasurable sensation of the movement of the mouth.
The English word “sucking” (“saugen” in German) to me describes an action to produce some sort of fluid, doesn’t it?
So apparently German is a bit more specific when it comes to this distinction?
Shelley
Agree with cutting it, but did a little at a time, until one day there was no nipple for his teeth to grip with his teeth. He threw it away himself.
Marie
3 of ours loved paciifiers (we call them pacis too!). At 12 months we started making a game of throwing it into the crib in the mornings and afternoons naps. The paci stayed in the crib. It was only used for sleeping. And it didn’t seem to bother them much. At 18 months I snipped the tip, let them try it for abit and then we threw them away together! There was a few fussy naps and maybe 1 night but it always went smoother then I imagined! Good luck, and stick to it once you start.
Jill Kleeberger
Child #1 never used 1 and would spit it out. She was very colicky and I wished it would have soothed her.
Child #3 used mainly at bed/nap times until about 18 months old. Gradually lost interest.
Child #2 used it a lot! By age 3 it was just at bedtime. We took it away and he commensed chewing on his shirt collars… to the point of creating holes. I think he needed the sensory input.
Every child is different!
Sasha
My second baby loved her pacifier. I was glad because the research that a paci reduces the risk of SIDS is pretty strong. It helped us both sleep better. We were done with the paci when she misplaced the two we had left. It was nap time and we looked everywhere but couldn’t find them. She went down for nap fine and we figured that was the end of it. She woke up at night looking for it for about a week, and we just went in, gave her a hug, and helped her find her bear to hug. We eventually found the misplaced pacis, one in each of an off season pair of shoes.
NicolaC
I love in the UK we called it a dummy. Apparently I threw mine down the stairs as a 1 year old and never asked for it back.
Shana
With our firstborn, we refused to give him a pacifier. With our second, we used one right away. And he was a HUGE fan of the paci. We decided to get rid of it when he was able to voice that he wanted it. So when that happened, we would gradually get rid of ones that we found around the house. We told him that once they were gone, they were gone. He understood and we got rid of them over a few days. No issues whatsoever!
Katharine
I call it a “paci” too. I have 9 children, so speak with a little experience. I wait till 3yrs old, but I do want to add on a side note that past 18mon I only allow the my baby to have it for bed and church. They are not allowed to just tote it around. The take away process is super simple. Simple start cutting the top off, very slightly every couple days until a week or two later depending on how much you cut off each time, until they can no longer use it and then TOGETHER you throw it (all of them) away. One of mine actually didn’t like the clipped paci, so simple throw it away after the first clip. And just so you know, I still have 2, 2 and under, so this is a mother of the present speaking 😉
Katharine
Paci is what we call it. I wait till 3 and then clip the end off a little at a time until they have no desire for it, then we throw it away
Chelsie
3 out of 5 of our babies used/use a pacifier. Our 1st child self weened from it. He had allergies and he actually dropped his under his crib at around 9 months and he couldn’t get to it and it never was an issue again. The next two children were not interested in using a pacifier. Our fourth child kept his until he was 28 months, he called it his “b.b.” I don’t know why but it was cute. We told him he was a big brother now and he didn’t need it anymore. He was basically ready to give it up and he hasn’t looked back. Our youngest is 5 months and he likes his pacifier right now. Cute question and best wishes on your little one moving away from the pacifier!
Hedvig
In Sweden we call it napp, but my 22 month old calls it baa and she calls the breast mamma baa. I guess that is logic 🙂 My older daughter was 3 years old when she gave her pacifiers to the cats at Skansen in Stockholm. But she was old enough to be talked with so we could prepare her. It was an easy transition but I have no tips on how to help an 18 month old quit exept a lot of patience on your part. My soon to be two year old is still using a pacifier and it makes our life so much easier. I will not try to take it away untill she is older.
Jessica
Only one of 6 kids really took to the pacifier. I always aimed for 18 months as a good stopping point. Gave it a few extra weeks past due to his younger brother being born right at 18 months, and I wasn’t going to do that to myself. 😁 Had him weaned down to using it mainly in bed and in the car. Cut the entire nipple off and just handed him the plastic shield. Twice, I gave it to him and he looked it over and handed it back, due to it being useless. He never asked for it again. He’s now 10, and doesn’t remember it at all.
Karen
My daughter called it a papeesh (sp?). Because it wasn’t near Christmas so we could leave it for Santa’s reindeers we made a trip to the animal orphanage when they were closed and left them with a note to please give them to the new puppies and kittens that needed them. I only had to reminder her a couple of nights when she asked for them that the animals needed them more than she did. It was a fairly easy process.
Brownie T.
Let him self-wean. Why take away something that gives him comfort? Be glad he has found something that comforts him in this scary world. Just because we CAN take things away from toddlers doesn’t mean we SHOULD. He won’t go to college using it.