With my due date less than four weeks away, we are nearing the end of this pregnancy journey and are very ready to meet our son. I’m also eager to have labor, delivery, and recovery behind me. Mr. Handsome and I have chosen to deliver our baby at a hospital under the care of a nurse midwife. I have had a few minor complications during pregnancy that likely won’t cause any issues during labor, but in case something comes up, we like the idea of having access to emergency care.
We feel very comfortable with our midwives, and we are praying that my delivery will be smooth and uneventful. I will say, however, that I am someone who really enjoys the comforts of home, so the idea of a home birth sounds very appealing. In today’s society, I love that there are so many delivery options for expectant moms, and I’m curious to hear what your thoughts are. Midwife or doctor? Home birth or hospital birth? What is your birth plan of choice, and what are the pros and cons?
Lor
Hello, I have never had children. My mother had three and all of them at home. Her doctor specialized in home births. He had a doctors office that she went to for check ups and such. During my older brothers’ first twenty minutes of life he wasn’t breathing. The doctor was able to help. Not sure what he did but my mom didn’t have to go to the hospital. I don’t know anyone that has had a home birth with a mid wife. I know some that have used birthing centers and mid wives.
Loretta
We had hospital births until we learned how safe homebirths are. We made the switch and LOVED our homebirths with a midwife. Since then, birth centers entered the scene and I have witnessed how nice they can be for the low-risk couple. After I received my certified professional midwife license, my husband helped me open a birth center near a hospital in our area. We’ve helped many couples have the best of both worlds… the comfort of home and the safety of the hospital near by. They can’t say enough good about what they’ve experienced.
Ellie
How neat that you have your own birth center, Loretta! Do you have any quick tips for first time moms as they go into labor? I’m sure you have tons of knowledge to share, but is there anything that comes to mind that you find is especially important to tell first time moms?
Ellie
Ann
I’ve delivered two babies. One with a doctor and one with a midwife.
The midwife was much nicer and easier to work with.
I so hope it goes smoothly for you.
Please accept help once you come home from the hospital. Get as much rest as you can so that you can heal.
Thinking of you.
Alayna
All my pregnancies were high risk so I was at the hospital with a doctor.
Benita
The same with me, Alayna.
Alex
I chose a midwife early in my pregnancy and was super happy with the care we recieved leading up to the delivery. We chose to deliver at a birth centre about 5-10 minutes from the closest hospital and loved the atmosphere compared with what we would have experienced had we chosen the hospital. We had a couple minor risks going into the delivery but everything worked out. Going home within 3 hours of the birth was also a major bonus for us.
Anonymous
You are so blessed to have been able to go home after three hours of birth. I delivered all my babies in the hospital, and they made me stay three days with each birth. I tell you the truth, I really felt like a prisoner in there.
Diana
This is a HUGE decision that every couple should fervently pray about. I don’t think there is a right choice, although you might get that impression from people. Just as with when to have children, how many to have, when to stop, how to stop, how to educate, and a billion other decisions you will make as you raise your family, let God guide you. Get advise, research, educate yourself, and pray, but ultimately trust what God is telling your family, and go with it. Once you decide what God wants for your family, don’t look back unless you feel a nudge from Him to do so.
Personally, what I planned and what I experienced were polar opposites. Whatever you decide, give it back to God as the plan might go out the window. All the best to you in these final weeks. 🙂
Sarah
I was the same. I wanted a home birth but the second I found out I was expecting I felt like I should get an OB and deliver in a hospital. I even felt guided to a specific OB. It was HARD for me to give up my will but the second I walked in the hospital doors to deliver my baby I felt totally at peace. And I soon saw the wisdom of my being there and having the doctor I did. God has a plan. We’re all in His hands.
Sarah
I always prefer to be in a hospital near a doctors care if need be. God forbid something happened where seconds mattered. I hope you are feeling well! But that is my preference. Wishing you a healthy and speedy labor and delivery!
Diane
We also felt more comfortable with a hospital birth. We suffered vaccination injury and would feel very cautious about vaccinations which we have stopped altogether. Many hospitals will not honor and follow through with parental requests which would make me feel ill at ease. At this point I would choose a home birth with hospital plans in place if needed.
Anonymous
You can’t go to public school around here without vaccinations, but they do let some people sign religious wavers. Some states are very lax about those waivers. Some religious schools have been, too. There have been very serious outbreaks of measles and chicken pox at schools who don’t require vaccinations. The problem then is that the exposed children or the sick children can be around non-vaccinated or under-vaccinated children out in public. So someone’s non-vaccinated child could cause someone’s young, partially-vaccinated child to become sick, too. I’d be pretty upset if I knew my non-vaccinated child caused someone else’s child to become ill. It’s not just my decision for my own child at that point. It’s a decision to put other children at risk, too.
Anonymous
I fully agree. Whooping cough and measles are making a comeback in areas where parents have chosen not to vaccinate. Babies who have not yet been fully vaccinated as well as children and adults who have not received proper boosters are at risk when people choose not to vaccinate. When studies of herd immunity were first done in the 1920s, scientists believed herd immunity could be achieved if 75% of the population was vaccinated. More recent research on particularly virulent diseases like measles suggests 95% vaccination rates to achieve herd immunity.
Diane
In measles cases 75% HAVE been fully vaccinated. My son got mumps from a recently vaccinated teacher. Could it be that what you are trained to think is NOT true and fear based? Why so many sick kids, kids with cancer, allergies, autism, ADHD?
Diane
The measles cases reported in Disneyland were actually contracted by children of which the great majority WERE vaccinated although the converse was reported by the media. My friend who is an OB/GYN whose husband is an attorney validated my data on this. Why the dishonest fear tactic? Vaccinated children should be quarantined several weeks after receiving shots because they are shedding the disease. The vaccines ARE spreading disease and their additives are supressing the immune system at minimum.
Anonymous
They suffered a vaccination injury. This means their child had a bad reaction to a vaccine. I also have vaccination allergies. Because of all the ingredients in vaccines, no one can pin point what I am allergic to. The next vaccine I get could cause a life threatening allergic reaction. These allergies can also run in families. So while I do not want to injure anyone who is unvaccinated, I also don’t want me or my child to die. I am sure she feels the same. Btw, my doctor fully suppports our decision.
Diane
Precisely. By the way the pediatrician who administered my son’s vaccines acknowledged our treatment with “you’re on the right track”. It is a corrupt and difficult situation for all touched by it…for all people. It is heartbreaking at best.
Anonymous
10:28, the majority of my friends are not vaccinated and they are literally the healthiest people I know. My parents have always regretted having my siblings and I vaccinated, as it has caused health problems for some of my siblings. You are far more likely to have a lifelong vaccine injury, than to have any lifelong side effects from the chicken pox. And if you would do some research, you would find that sanitation habits are responsible for lower cases of many diseases that we unnecessarily vaccinate for, more so than the vaccines themselves. This has been admitted by the CDC, so the fact that there are 74 recommended vaccine doses for children is disturbing.
Anonymous
Anonymous at 10:20am, I completely agree with you.
Anonymous
I second looking into vaccinations before choosing to get them. Read the vaccine inserts, read all the ingredients in each individual vaccine (you can find them all on the CDCs website), read up on MRC-5 and WI-38 (aborted baby DNA) which is in multiple vaccines, know that the US pays billions of dollars every year to families whose children have vaccine injuries (I know a few of those families which is why I feel so passionately about this). I know that this is a very controversial topic, but it is better to be informed than to wish you had been later.
Anonymous
I’m with you on the vaccinations, OP. We chose not to do that till our children’s bodies were a little bigger to handle it after the mistake of doing it to our firstborn. I don’t like to see them pumping those chemicals in such a tiny little body. Wait awhile for those little bodies to grow to be able to handle it. Surprisingly we had nurses supporting us when we told them our wish. When we had to take our child (before 10 yrs old) to a world renowned hospital for a major surgery and they found out we hadn’t vaccinated her, the nurses their actually supported our decision! Vaccinations aren’t what all we think them to be so do lots of research and ask naturally healthy-minded people for their take on it. I had them as a child and I have bad thyroid problems today. My aunt had to spend a lot of her 20’s in a hospital (and almost died!) with a disease that came on from a bad vaccination that came to fruit 25 years after she was born! It actually stays dormant till it decides to come alive. So be careful with those vac’s and I’m not saying you can’t get them at all for the bad diseases! just get them when you have a bigger body so you’re able to handle them. We finally got a couple of them for our children when they were 10-13 yrs old since we were flying to a place that was mandatory to have them. But we didn’t feel so bad anymore since they were older.
Lucy
Diane, I disagree. My hospital asked me before providing my infant their vaccinations. I only chose one and they didnt make it an issue that they weren’t providing them all. They always double checked with me before they did anything with baby. I actually found it harder to find a pediatrician who would take on my child as a patient while respecting my vaccination choices.
Ellie, if you are denying certain vaccinations or in my case, delaying them, I would make sure you mention that to your selected or potential pediatrician. Good luck and don’t sweat it. As a mother, you’ll know what’s best for your baby!
Diane
Each place and time will have a different experience but this is what I know from personal and friends’ experiences as well as a government plan to have all vaccinated. I glad you have been fortunate this far. In Brazil vaccines are mandated or passport rights will be withheld. Italy just pulled an entire committee of individuals on medical advisory to be replaced challenging the status quo on vaccinations. An independent study has been done examining content of vaccinations revealing toxins and none of the antigens claimed in the shot.
Jessica
I’ve had five children (soon 6) in the hospital and we don’t get the infant vaccines at the hospital. Some of the staff can be very funny about vaccines, and not all are needed. I am not for vaccines and my husband is more for them. But there are alot that we agree not to give our children.
Some nurses and doctors are better than others. I always have to sign forms for refusing to give vaccines. I’ve been fussed out by doctor’s and I chose not to see them anymore. I bring my children to a practice with a lot of doctors. The ones we see don’t even lecture us anymore. We are doing what we believe is best, and that’s what each family has to do. It’s a very sensitive subject to alot of people. I say, don’t take your doctor’s word for it, research yourself and find out what you think is best. Some doctor’s don’t actually know the ingredients in the vaccines and are only taught certain things from medical school. It’s not that we think we know more than the doctor’s do, it’s that God put our children in our care and for their sake we have to do what we believe is best, and everyone will have make a different decision. I don’t know of anyone else personally that delays vaccines or refuses them, but that isn’t important to me.
T.K. RN
Dear Diane please know the choice to vaccinate your infant in the hospital is yours. The same goes for the vitamin K injection and the erythromycin eye ointment. For a nurse to give said meds to your baby without your consent is assault. I ask every mom before I do any procedure to their infant and that is after I explain what is going on. Please ask, ask again and refuse if you do not want it.
Diane
T.K. RN unfortunately not are RN’s or hospitals are on the same page and have gone ahead taken the baby and issued vaccines despite very clear directives. Now nurses have been loosing their jobs in hospitals for not keep up with required vaccines for themselves. Some are quitting as they have seen the injuries for themselves. I’m glad you honor the Moms and have been allowed to do so without jeopardy to your job but this should not be assumed.
GJ
I LOVE my home births. I’ve had 5, with 3 different midwives. The midwives are very knowledgeable and supportive, and It’s absolutely wonderful to be able to relax in my own bed after the birth. The midwives take such good care of the baby and me; all my husband and I have to do is snuggle the new baby and rest. I love that I can set up my ideal environment for the labor: music playing, candles, lighting, whatever. Before labor gets too intense, I finish cleaning up my house (which gives me something to do) and get everything in place the way I want it. Of course, not every mama or baby is a candidate for a homebirth, and my midwives are not risk takers (I wouldn’t go to them if they were). There’s nothing wrong with a hospital birth, but I’m so thankful that I’ve been able to give birth at home.
Lauren
Both of my kids were born in a hospital with a doctor. We were quite happy with the decision because my oldest was born at 34 weeks and was taken to the NICU right away. My second pregnancy was labeled “high risk” because of history of premature labor/birth so hospital was decided for me by the doctor. However, I was able to have as much or as little pain management as I wanted. Birthing tubs were an option. I had to have continuous monitoring but they offered less monitoring. The right hospital/doctor team should go above and beyond to make mom comfortable.
Ellyn
Hospital birth with an epidural made my labor process soooo much easier and enjoyable 🙂 I did labor as much as I could at home first though!
Anonymous
Ok, my story: Yes I did epidurals too as my pain threshold isn’t high and thought they were just the thing until starting 5 years later after giving birth my disk in my back herniated and I have been forever since dealing with extreme disk and back pain. I’m a mom that had to be literally “paralyzed” for a week at a time with constant excruciating pain-all with little children. I had to constantly be careful with every move I made less it would send me into a week of not walking around. Not moving, period. I don’t know how I made it. My oldest had to be the mom to the others. I was thankful for and proud of her at her tender 5 years of age taking care of my other 2 little ones without any accidents. She was all I had in life to help me. It’s been 11 yrs since my last was born and I’m still dealing with horrible back pain and the awful fear of when my disk will herniate again. So far my chiro has helped me so much to lessen the awful episodes. But my life has been horrible since I took those epidurals. So I would plead with everyone to just endure the pain for the little time being it is ( it isn’t forever thankfully) and enjoy a pain free life. I also know others that have had epidurals and are complaining about their back hurting so much.
Anonymous
I’ve had four c sections and for those I had epidurals. I do get an occaisionally recurring spot of mild pain in my back sort of close to my spine. I’ve thought that it might be from one of the epidurals. I’m sad to learn that some women have such damage and pain as a result of that pain administration. I saw a video once about a woman whose medication did not kick in and she literally was feeling the knife. I needed the epidural. But once I was put to sleep. I do not know if that time I had both, but I think I was just asleep. The first baby I had I pushed out but it had already died at 35 weeks.
Nicole
Being an anesthesiologist myself I can’t leave this without a comment. I won’t deny that epidurals definitely can cause problems like back pain (but in rather rare cases thankfully), but have nothing whatsoever to do with herniated disks! Just look at the anatomy: the epidural catheter is placed completely on the opposite side of the spine. It doesn’t come even near the disks.
Disk problems may much rather be related to being pregnant, it affects your back a lot.
Anonymous
Thanks for clearing that up, Nicole. I read too much stuff on blogs that isn’t medically correct. It’s always nice to hear the professional opinion.
Anon
I’m the OP. When I got my last epidural something didn’t do right. I had a lightning bolt of pain that traveled from where they put the needle in all the way to my tailbone. It “exploded” at my tailbone. And consequently my tailbone cracked when I pushed my baby out. It would’ve had to travel through my disk area. The staff there acted very strange and was doing all they could so I wouldn’t sue. They knew something went wrong with the epidural. I suffered through so much with that labor that I will never forget it. I couldn’t go to bed or sleep for a whole week after having the baby-I was in so much pain everywhere. I also had my tubes tied so I had surgery pain yet on top of it. I had back pain from the go after birth. I thought my back would never heal. Always be weak. After a few years the weakness got a little better but then I went into the disk pain. Naturally healthy minded people will always tell you that epidurals are causing the back pain and will ruin your back. I’m all for it if you’re having a c-section tho! That would be terrible to feel the knife…Mine is probably an exceptional case but I like to warn pregnant women whenever I could of the possibilities. Not all “medical” is the way to see things all the time. Thanks for hearing me out.
Anonymous
Nicole, can you please come back here and give some information about vaccinations, from a doctor’s viewpoint?
Alexis
Yes to being in a hospital! Had a wonderful doctor who loved natural, unmediated labors but could (and did in some of my births) intervene for health and safety. Had I attempted to labor and deliver at home I would have died during childbirth and so would have my 1rst and 3rd babies.
Anonymous
I had my two babies in a hospital, everything was there if things didn’t go as plan. I know very little about midwives. My thinking has always been when your sick or think your pregnant you see a doctor. My OB/GYN delivered both my babies. The nurses in the hospital were amazing. I felt like a fish out of water.LOL. One nurse ask me if I wanted something for pain. I said yes, but only if it won’t hurt my baby. She said it was completely safe.. The nurses guide me right along, told me exactly what to do. I know I was fortunate that I had two vaginal births with no complications and two healthy babies. Ellie, I’m praying for you… Jane
Anonymous
With my s I had a hospital birth and with this baby I plan on the same. I feel more comfortable with a Dr in a hospital, just in case something were to go wrong I was where I and baby could be taken care of no problem and no rushing to the hospital. My birth went how I wanted expect I got the epidural, but with every contraction I was throwing up, not how I wanted to go, and I figured it would be a little harder trying to push and throwing up at the same time. This time around I want to wait a little longer before I get the epidural as long as I’m not throwing up. The only thing that really threw me was when it came time to push the Dr didn’t come into the room, she didn’t come in until the nurse saw my son’s head. I even asked the nurse if the Dr was coming she said nope she doesn’t come until it’s time to catch the baby. Other than that I had a good birth my son. Only complaint I had was after I had him and I was sleeping the nurses would come in wake me up and ask how I was sleeping and if I needed anything to help me sleep. Oh and on nurse brought me a cover in when she came in and saw me nursing my son and when I put it aside and didn’t use it she gave me a look. Like I’m in my room by myself and you are on the maternity ward this shouldn’t be anything new to you.
Anonymous
I’m sorry! That Dr should’ve been there to help guide you through the pushing. Mine was. She had to be else I would’ve given up on pushing! That Dr doesn’t sound like one I would go too. And yes, I couldn’t stand either the constant coming into the hospital room to check on and interrupt us through the night. I just wanted to SLEEP and I could not ever just because of that! I remember being so EXHAUSTED at the hospital.
Anonymous
I actually didn’t mind her not being there, When I say she didn’t come in until it was time to catch him and the nurse saw the head. He was still way up there he was no where near crowning and the Dr came in and helped me out a lot. I saw her a lot when I was in labor, she came in to check on my dilation and everything else. I didn’t want a lot of people in the room anyways. If my husband and I wouldn’t have moved I would have gone back to them in a heartbeat. My husband even asked if I was going to stick with them when I got pregnant this time but I can’t justify driving 2 hrs for a Dr appointment and then if I go into labor it would be a 2.5 hr drive to that hospital. I’m not to sure about this Dr I have now but it takes me a while to get comfortable with DRs. She talked me thru everything, she even told me that she wasn’t going to cut me because it would be better for me, she told me how he had a full set of hair, she actually was playing with his hair while we were waiting for another contraction so I can push. She helped guide my hand so I could feel all his hair.
Anonymous
Oh! Well, I guess I got the wrong msg from your msg. Sorry!
Anonymous
I understand how you could have gotten the wrong idea. My DRs were great, and I enjoyed being able to keep my son in my room with me the whole stay. Some of the nurses where not quite friendly and got annoyed at me when I would ask them a million questions when they need to take my son out of the room and didn’t understand why I didn’t want him to go into the nursery. I also had a nurse tell me I was burping him wrong, I pushed her hand away and said I have helped taken care of multiple babies and I know how to burp them. She was hitting his back pretty hard and he didn’t like it, I was using a much gentler touch and yes it took a little longer to get him to burp but I wasn’t trying to beat it out of him.
Liz
I had my son at a midwife-led birthing centre that was attached to the hospital. It felt like the best of both worlds as I luckily managed to have a completely natural birth but was safe in the knowledge that if anything went awry I could be whisked up the corridor to a doctor-led labour and delivery department. I’m in the U.K. and this seems like a fairly common option nowadays. Unless you are paying to go privately or have a high risk pregnancy, the whole pregnancy is overseen by an NHS midwife (either community-based or at your local doctor’s surgery). The emphasis is usually on avoiding medical intervention and the involvement of a doctor/surgeon if possible. The midwives were great and really respected my wishes. I did go up to the labour ward the next day, but only because the birthing centre was filling up fast and I didn’t want to go home until I was sure I was getting the hang of breastfeeding with a nurse on hand for advice. My best advice would be to go with the flow, trust you’re body and your instincts, and don’t set your heart on an precise birth plan. Best of luck!!
Jessica
Lord willing, I will be having my son a few weeks after you. With this being number 6, I have had all of them in the hospital. But I like to have as little intervention as possible. I am free to walk around and pretty much do whatever as long as I go back to the room every hour or so to get put on the monitor. I am able to walk around, use the birthing ball, use the bath tub, or whatever I feel comfortable doing. And when I can’t walk anymore, which is usually right before I have the baby, I tell the nurses and I get ready for delivery. This of course is if everything is fine.
With my last son, it was the worst pain. And it was long. At 8 cm or so, I couldn’t walk anymore and decided to get a steroid in an IV to take some of the tension off. And I got my water broken. He was born 15 minutes later. But his heart was decelerating so it’s good that I went ahead and got intervention. And the steroids did nothing at all for the pain, but it’s supposed to relax you.
It just shows that things don’t always go as planned. My first was preemie and it was pretty awful. I’ve learned that every labor and delivery is different and some are short and great, while others are long and hard. I think it’s wonderful to have a birthing plan, but it’s also good to know that things change and if you can’t follow how you want the birth to be, it’s ok. You aren’t a failure, you are just doing what’s best for the baby and yourself.
Anonymous
It is a big decision, and it’s wonderful that you’ve found the right choice for your family! I’ve had three natural, unmedicated hospital births under midwifery care. My midwives had full hospital rights, and it was wonderful. My first two, I chose to be discharged three hours after birth and recovered at home. The midwifery care at home afterwards for babe and I was fantastic. I had complications with my third, and had to stay the day. I was grateful to be at the hospital, and although my midwife was able to handle everything, it was nice to know that the OB and emergency care was at hand. We only live 25 minutes from the hospital, but it was just a bit too far for my husband and I to be comfortable at home. All the best in these last few weeks!
Stephanie
I had extremely fast labors and almost delivered my first in the car. My deliveries were both in the hospital by a doctor, although a nurse midwife assisted my second birth, and I really liked her. With my first, the resident physician delivered my baby because my OB couldn’t get to me in time. The second time, an OB from my doctor’s office delivered my baby. Both of my deliveries were extremely easy and unmedicated. I still wouldn’t have a home birth because of the mess!
Anonymous
I agree that it’s wonderful that there are so many options! We had both of our babies in the hospital; the first with an epidural and a doctor (both were great!) and the second was all natural with a midwife, which was also awesome. I recommend laboring at home as long as you can! I spent that time cleaning and practicing piano to distract from the discomfort, which was much easier than laboring in hospital bed. 🙂 Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!
Melinda
Here in the state of Alabama, homebirths are not legal, though I would have loved having my baby in the quiet, comfort of my home. My first and now second will be born in a hospital with the assistance of a doula.
God bless you as you await the arrival of your precious baby, Ellie ❤
Anonymous
I’m not sure who you got your information from, but you can have a homebirth in Alabama.
L.
I had a scheduled c-section since my baby was frank breech (folded in half, tush down with feet up by her head) and I had partial placenta-previa, so trying any sort of inversion to flip her would have been dangerous. Anyway, I went in expecting the worst since everyone told me horror stories of c-sections, but the whole experience from delivery to recovery was fantastic. I realized as I was lying on the table before surgery that everyone in the room (besides my husband) was a woman–my OBGYN, anesthesiologist, pediatrician, nurses. It felt so empowering to have an all female team bring my daughter safely into the world. (Perhaps midwifery births provide a similar feeling.) So amazing. Made me tear up a little. I was in good physical shape before and during pregnancy, which helped make healing easy but I joke that my recovery went so smoothly because everyone in the operating room was a woman and therefore their work exceptional.
darlene
there is no right or wrong answer at least. it’s all up to your comfort zone and pain threshold. my first was premature and so easy but my second was an emergency c-section only 6 weeks early. i finally got to put birthing classes to use with my 3rd but was grateful to be in a hospital setting seeing i cant go full term. for me, a home birth was not an option. however, most of the hospitals here have wonderful birthing centers within, even able to have family stay in your room, if you want. they try to make it as close to a home birth setting as possible for comfort. plus, i liked the fact that there was a dr available if anything went wrong (with my luck!) many women opt for an epidural, which you can get at some birthing centers & of course hospitals, but not for home birth so it could make a difference in your comfort.
having your first baby is such a surreal experience! you technically are completely innocent – no matter what you’ve learned from others, and until you experience it for yourself, you will have absolutely no idea! sometimes ‘ignorance is bliss’, like when i asked the dr to tell me when i should start screaming because i heard another woman scream! that’s supposed to help right? like in karate? lol! (he said just push and it’ll be over with and it was). other times you’ll remember stories and think ‘it wasnt that bad’, or ‘it was worse than they said’ but each one is completely different. this experience will influence your decision with future children. you’ll be experienced with the next one, as in knowing what to expect! i look at it this way, if it were too awful, women wouldnt be having children on the daily and there would be no human race! could i squat in a field and deliver a child and get back up and work, absolutely not!! but there are women who can. me, i’m a minimal pain person so if i had not already been in the hospital from complications, i would definitely chose it for peace of mind. whatever your decision is, its right for you!
Jess
This is such a difficult subject, I personally needed an emergency c-section with my daughter so very happy I was in the hospital with my doctor, tragedies happen in all situations so really you need to be comfortable with your choice, I would advise not to read the horror stories, I nearly posted the ones I personally know about, it’s never good to be anxious about what we can’t control, try and surround yourself with positivity and go with your gut, it’s usually right!
Ellyn
Excellent advice Jess
Liz
I gave birth to all four of my sons at the same hospital five minutes from my house. I really wanted to have a home birth for all of them, but that didn’t happen because my health insurance wouldn’t cover it. I ended up getting an episiotomy (a surgical cut made at the opening of the vagina during childbirth, to aid a difficult delivery and prevent rupture of tissues) with each birth, so I guess it was good that I was in the hospital. All of my labors were pretty quick. My first labor took two hours, the second was half an hour, and the last two babies came out in fifteen minutes… What I hated most about being in the hospital was the postnatal care I received. They made me stay in the hospital three days (after all deliveries) even though the babies were perfect in every way, and I was fine. The nurses endlessly bothered me every half an hour by lifting my gown and touching my breasts…maybe they were trying to help me nurse my child, but to me this was incredibly uncalled for and made me want to scream. My husband and I wanted to go with the nurses and doctors to watch them do their “baby check up.” For some reason this bothered the nurse in attendance and she threatened to call CPS on us…Crazy huh. I wish I would have told that nurse that I was going to get my lawyer and sue the hospital and her for abuse of power. That was my child that I just popped out of my body, and I have parental rights over it, who are you! I honestly felt like a prisoner in that hospital, and felt FREE when I was finally released to go home with my little one. I really hope and pray you have a wonderful labor and delivery.
Jessica
It’s crazy that the hospital didn’t allow you or your husband to go with your baby whenever it left the hospital room. All tests are run in the same room as the mother here and they don’t ever take the baby out only if the baby has to go to NICU. With my last son, the rooms were smaller so they bathed the babies in the nursery and I went with them and recorded his first ‘bath’ and watched him.
And I always tell the nurses to please give me some space. If I need them I’ll call them. And most of the time it works. They only come in the room when necessary to get vitals and whatever. But I still can’t sleep. The hospital beds are awful. There is definitely more freedom being home than in a hospital.
Anonymous
I delivered my babies in a hospital. I remember closing my eyes so I could concentrate on my contractions and breathing. I think it helped me because I ended up having short labors. I also got to the hospital just in time to deliver them. All natural vaginal births without epidurals.
Anne
Hello! I was definitely nervous about delivering in a hospital. I had never had to be in the hospital before and everything I read in the internet gave me the impression that the doctors and nurses wouldn’t listen to you and it would be awful, etc. Ideally I would have liked to deliver at home but I live in a rural area with no midwives or hospitals close by so I opted for a hospital birth in the closest bigger city. It was a great experience! The nurses were amazing and everyone was so nice. I got hours of skin to skin immediately after birth and the baby never left the room the entire stay. My husband and I liked being able to just sit in the bed and bond with baby and not have to do anything else.
My baby was born in April 2018. I honestly think a big part of the birthing experience is humbleness and not being emotionally tied to a “plan.”
Best of luck!
Anonymous
I’ve had 3 beautiful babies, all in a hospital with an OB who is very pro natural birth. I had epidurals with all 3, however my last baby was born so fast the epidural didn’t kick in until after she was born.
My advice: have a birth plan but don’t be tied to it or be upset if it doesn’t work out. My plan with baby #1 was all natural, but he was face up so I had extreme back labor pain and after 5 hours got an epidural. Make sure to ask for help from the nurses, this is what they do and they will have lots of suggestions for different positions/breathing techniques that can help you be more comfortable. The most important thing is a healthy Mama and baby, however you get there doesn’t matter!
Anonymous
Yep. You’re pregnant. We get it. Please stop mentioning your pregnancy in every post. It gets old.
Anonymous
How rude to Ellie! She’s about to have her baby…why do you come on to read her blog if you don’t care for what she posts? She’s doing the work…BE GRATEFUL!!!
Anonymous
She has barely posted anything about her pregnancy on here and it’s a lifestyle blog about her and at the moment she is experiencing pregnancy.
Ellyn
I personally love hearing about Ellie’s pregnancy and I’m sure many other readers, if not most, feel the same way. The more pregnancy/baby updates, the better, Ellie! 🙂
Lucy
We have had great experiences both ways.
Our first was a home water birth. 6 hour labor. I loved being in the comfort of our own home.
Our second was also a home birth. 3 hour labor. He had a little trouble breathing when born so an ambulance transferred us to hospital. This was just a precaution however since he was given the all clear before the ambulance arrived. But, we chose to go when given the option.
Our third was a planned hospital birth following the Lord’s leading. 2 hour 15 minute labor and 1 push! I wanted an epidural since I was so exhausted due to labor starting and stopping all week due to baby’s position (hardly getting any sleep) and that helped a lot. I personally found the quicker the labor the harder it was for me to handle the pain, so was very thankful for this option. The nurses and my OB were wonderful.
If we are blessed with another we will likely have another hospital birth for peace of mind.
Tiffany
I’ve had 3 csections so I have only experienced hospital deliveries but all completely different experiences.
My first ended in “emergency csection” that I was not fully numbed for.
My second was another csection. They did however go the extra mile to make sure I was numb and comfortable.
My third csection was the best because I wasn’t afraid to ask or say something if I wasn’t comfortable. It was a very hard recovery but I wasn’t afraid to let them know I was having trouble.
Diane
Vaccinations are such a sensitive subject because we all want to do what is best for the children/our children. I feel responsible to share: my husband IS a doctor, it was I who did the research once our son was diagnosed with Autism at age 2. It was indeed his vaccinations- we reversed his diagnosis with treatment by Dr. Stephanie Cave author of What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Your Child’s Vaccinations. She has treated over 6K vaccine injured children: that includes allergies, learning issues, ADD/ADHD, seizures, autoimmune issues, etc. Things are not as they seem unfortunately. Make decisions you are willing to live with. We cannot vaccinate. We have a medical waiver, we home school, by law in California one must be vaccinated or loose your tax given right to educate children in public school. Vaccinations cause people to shed (react to vaccine exposing others to their mild experience of the illness) which is causing the illnesses to run rampant. The Disneyland measles case the media exposed falsely reported. The great majority of the children who came down with measles WERE vaccinated (my ob/gyn’s husband is an attorney and confirmed report) My unvaccinated child came down with mumps after a choir teacher had vaccinated and mildly contracted the illness (hindsight), I kept my children home (as home schoolers) for over a month to prevent spreading and he missed his “major US City” choir performance. PLEASE consider things are not as they seem….if vaccinated your child is protected (so you think) so why fear another who is not vaccinated and will be damaged by such? A friend’s child ended up with seizures because of vaccinations, another with cancerous brain tumor due to flu vaccination (mother read insert and did research). The risks are indicated on the inserts….they would not give me the insert unless I committed to the injection. National Vaccine Information Center is a wonderful resource. The facts are twisted…diseases have natural die off period and polio was dying off before the vaccine but they cut off that portion of data showing the natural die off and said, “the vaccine is cutting the rate of polio”. Statistics and people are very easy to manipulate and big pharm is big business protected from law suits. One must go to vaccine court and receive tax payers money if injured. The child with full blown Autism reversed in two years of treatment is now applying to college to study computer engineering and has a year of college under his belt as a home schooler thanks to concurrent enrollment as a homeschool student. He was a NASA Scholarship recipient, studied Mandarin Chinese, taught himself computer languages, swims on the swim team, volunteers teaching people to use electronics in our public library. He is a miracle. Keep compassionate please…you just may learn from someone unsuspecting- planting a seed so you may decrease your odds of going through a similar distressing experience. With deep hearted care to share/please no nasty comments.
Anonymous
Thank you so much more sharing your story! I have friends who went through a similar situation and it raised so much awareness for my family.
Diane
Thank you for your encouraging reply and for keeping an open mind and heart.
Anonymous
Wow! How enlightening! Thanks for your direction and experience.
Anonymous
Please don’t encourage fear in people not to vaccinate. I am a scientist and would appreciate a peer-reviewed article to support your anecdotal evidence. Vaccines are life saving and people/babies/children who have a weakened immune system are dependent on the “herd” to be vaccinated so that diseases like chickenpox which has a low mortality rate for the healthy don’t spread it to people with a weakened immune system where is it life-threatening.
Anonymous
Are you seriously asking parents whose kids have been damaged by vaccines not to tell their stories? I’m very curious, what type of scientist are you?
Diane
As a scientist, I am sure you could research plenty counter to your obvious bias as I have if you care to see a different perspective. I was educating from personal experience, research and knowledge which is not therefore with a bias for fear but to spare someone what I and many other parents have been through. Some people have to go through it themselves I understand via their child, a loved one or grandchild. Statistically that will happen but you may remain ignorant because you had a closed mind to be able to comprehend another’s experience. That is the saddest part right there.
Autistic and Not Broken
As an adult with Autism, I find your comment incredibly offensive. How dare you imply people with Autism are unintelligent or cannot function? I’ll have you know my brother and I both have Autism, are both college educated, both own our own businesses and are very successful, and I am married with a homeschooled advanced child. Both of us have IQs in the top 1 percent of the population. Autism is a difference in how your brain functions and is there at birth. You can’t “cure” Autism because it’s not a disease. It’s not an illness. It’s part of who a person is, and for me, it’s a gift. I am able to see the world in a way you never will because of how my brain functions. I feel extremely sorry for your son for growing up in a household where he was so looked down on and where his parents were so manipulated by someone who convinced them their child was “healed” from something that doesn’t need healing. Clearly he either didn’t have Autism or learned the coping mechanisms and adaptive behaviors those of us who aren’t vilified and looked down on for the way God made us learn so we can live our lives. Think before you speak. You don’t know everything.
Anonymous
9:36, As you have autism, I’m assuming you know there are different spectrums. My close friend’s son who has low functioning autism is nonverbal, violent towards others, and lives a very hard life. He is going to have to be moved to a group home for special needs teens soon, because it is no longer safe for his siblings to be in the same house as him. If his parents were able to reverse the effects of what has happened to him, I promise you they would. (I’m sharing this with permission)
Anonymous
9:36, I will also add that I don’t believe vaccines cause all types of autism. There is thought to be around 200 different types of autism, and I really don’t think they should all be classified as the same thing.
Diane
The purpose behind my sharing is to spare others the same experience. My husband, a doctor, and I with advanced degree from a university top 5 in the nation for my field of study, have plenty of status but wish to help people and a mother on fire doesn’t need credentials but heart which is my most valuable credential in my eyes and the Lord’s eyes. We are trying to help people what are you doing other than allow your credentials to steal your humanity? We have helped people and for even one I am learning to endure narrow minded revilers with increased grace.
Diane
I’m sorry I did not mean to offend you. As you know there is a whole spectrum of Autism and my son was full blown autism, not aspergers, pdd/nos, etc. My son banged his head against the wall, did not speak, make eye contact and was lost in repetitive behavior. I was told as he was two and his brother 5 months that he would live in a group home as an adult. I am so happy that your version of autism spectrum issues has not interfered with your contentment in life but surely it would have in our son you would agree.
Lisa
My husband and I have two children. We were induced for our first pregnancy and although we didn’t know this going into it, I needed a c-section because our daughter was too big to travel down the birth canal. She couldn’t drop so I could dilate. It was not an emergency c-section though. The second time I had a scheduled c-section. I had fantastic care in the hospital. We had an ob/gyn who was referred to us because we had infertility issues. Both of our children were born on Tuesdays, which was our doctor’s day on call.