Ever since we got married three years ago, Mr. Handsome and I have had a bit of a dilemma with the hand towels in our home. Before I go into detail, I must first say that Mr. Handsome is a great husband, and even though cleanliness and organization aren’t nearly as important to him as they are to me, he tries very hard to keep our house clean because he knows how happy it makes me.
That being said, he does have one habit that has been especially hard to break. He suggested that I share it with you all, in hopes that it will help him overcome his struggle.
Whenever Mr. Handsome dries his hands, whether in the bathroom or in the kitchen, the towel never seems to find its way back to the towel rack. In fact, it often ends up on the other end of the house, in some obscure location. I have encouraged him to try simply leaving the towel on the rack while drying his hands, so he doesn’t have to remember to put it back, but he says that his hands are so large that he needs to pull it off in order to fully dry them. (Perhaps I just need to buy bigger towels, although I have never seen a size between hand towel and bath towel.) And while he’s drying his hands, he usually starts walking away and ends up absentmindedly dropping the towel in some random place when he’s finished.
Until I brought it up, he didn’t realize he was doing it. He has recently been trying to kick the habit, and we decided that when he does, we will go out to his favorite restaurant to celebrate. But it hasn’t been easy, and I think it’s going to take some time.
Do you (or did you) have a funny habit that is hard to break? Or perhaps someone you live with does?
Betty
That is so funny!!! My husband leaves his jacket on the dining room chair when he gets home. I just remind him every now and then.
Amber
My husband never straightens the towel on the bar and it gets under my skin! I don’t mind if he does it in HIS bathroom, but in mine? NO! lol!!!
Do you have a larger towel bar? If so, maybe use that with regular-size bath towels to dry hands? Or, try using a kitchen towel in a neutral color – I find those seem to be larger than bathroom hand towels.
I would say maybe make sure his hands are dry before leaving the bathroom, but it seems as if that’s part of the habit haha.
Anonymous
You need the kinds of hand towels that have a tab at the top and button onto the towel bar. People make these themselves by crocheting the top of the towel, or by sewing it. If you don’t know what I mean, look up the towels people make to hang on the oven door handle. If they’re attached to the towel bar, they can’t easily wander off. If you cut small bath towels in half to make these, there’s your in-between size. You could also make them out of terry by the yard, but I haven’t seen really good terry in a cloth store in about 40 years!
The easiest bad habit to break is one that isn’t allowed to start in the first place.
Anonymous
Hi Ellie,
Funny post (nothwithstanding the frustrating situation this must be for you!). Have you considered shortening bath towels into smaller sizes that would work better for your husband? You can do it on a budget too with cheaper bath towels of less-than-luxurious quality as he will only be using them for his hands anyway.
Could you do a typical day-in-the-life-of post? Curious to know how you structure your time with writing and taking care of the house!
Ellie
Hi there. I’ve thought about that, just haven’t gotten around to it. LOL. It’s a great idea though.
My days are all very different, so a day-in-the-life post would be a little challenging. 🙂 With blogging, I have a more flexible schedule, but even when I’m away from the computer for a few hours, I have to constantly check my blogs. I always have to work during the weekend, and I often have to work in the evenings as well. It just varies greatly depending on what’s happening with the blogs. 🙂
Ellie
Sarah D.
They’re kind of old school, but you can get dish towels that have a loop that buttons. If it’s attached to the oven door handle, he can’t just walk away with it. 🙂
Ellie
Great idea, Sarah! 🙂
Ellie
Anonymous
It is probably something he does at work all the time too. What do some of the others there see? But maybe he uses disposable towels. Is there a person there who would never tell him how to do things and just picks up after him? Maybe he has a bit of a power attitude attached to doing this. I heard someone say if it matters enough people learn quite quickly. Maybe Mr H is the top of the chain and needs to regain a sense of something mattering enough to behave with reverential fear. He needs to gain a sense of it being a little thing but to be faithful in it for right reasons. Since he interacts with others and shares spaces it seems a bit over bearingly inconsiderate to leave a mess for others to pick up. This is not a very nice attitude. Basically he needs to become considerate and polite because that is the nice way to be and treat people. Throwing trash on the ground offends people, so this is kind of like that. It makes people wonder what goes on in the head of the person who does not clean up after themselves. Maybe his mom did all the cleaning when he was little and he is like an untrained dog from puppyhood. And it is not really his attitude towards others. He probably feels great about vivaciously focusing on important stuff and getting first things first and letting others do the other things as if it were natural order. And you are saying, “hey wait just a minute here it would make so much more sense if you could just put the hand towel in it’s place after you use it, thanks!” (….and “is there some reason I should be afraid to work on that small adjustment?….if there is THAT is adjustment number one!”)
Anon
I don’t think your husband is intentionally taking the towel off to another room for any reason other than a bad habit. My husband is one of those people whose mind is always spinning with projects and ideas. He will do things like carrying a towel off or moving things without thinking. He doesn’t even realize he is doing it. Safety pinning the towel to your oven handle might help for a while until he gets used to not taking it. I finally got my husband to stop taking my towel. Now he just uses a different one, so if it ends up somewhere else it isn’t a problem 😀
Anonymous
Oh my gosh one male friend used to p.. off of the front step when arriving, so they did not have to ask to use the washroom! And another relative border used to out their room window so they did not have to leave their comfy room when they got in. Sometimes men just have a tendency to be disgusting I noticed. Using walls for Kleenex, or snorting it outside, or not cleaning out the tub after a bath….etc, etc, etc.
Anonymous
Ellie: Did Mr. Handsome put a towel in the refrigerator ? LOL.
Ellie
Haha, that one was an exaggeration, but I have found them in odd places.
Ellie
Traci G
I know this isn’t what you want to hear but I would just embrace this quirk. We all have off things we do, so I would perhaps just have extra on hand towels to replace the ones that go missing.
Anne
I agree, this is pretty funny. It probably makes you laugh to see the hand towels in odd locations. I could see this turning into a game of “where am I going to find the towel today?” Maybe keep one towel on the rack (for you) and keep a stack of them beside the sink (for him).
Anonymous
Would he leave his bank card in the automated teller, or not count his change and become the one who gets ripped off? And would he not replace the gas cap, or drive away with the gas pumper still stuck in the gas tank hole? If he was doing a surgical procedure would he leave instruments in, or neglect the boring parts? This is goofy, not cute, it makes him look remiss and not careful. He should accept constructive criticism.
Anonymous
Whoa, chill!😂
Anonymous
My hair is kind of Ellie’s length and I have the habit of putting some strands (maybe a quarter to a to half inch thick) through my mouth and between my teeth and very gently, repeatedly, crunching on it. I like the feel and sound of that. It makes people mad at me and I am often embarrassed, yet still do it. Some people chew their nails, I crunch on my hair. But, I am sick of myself and know I should not do that!
Sarah
You could always choose to look at it as a blessing, a way you can choose to show him love (by putting the towel back). Not the easy answer, I know.
Anonymous
Ummmmmm, no. He can choose to be respectful that as a member of his household he needs to keep his messes tidy. Leaving a damp towel around the house is gross.
Nashville Wife Fan
Ellie you aren’t going to like this but I personally think this is just a lack of respect for your kitchen. Maybe he doesn’t understand how annoying this is to you or he doesn’t think about it but he should think about it!! YOU cook his dinners, iron his clothes, and even refinish his furniture and the least he can do is just dry his hands off on the towel and leave it where he found it. Maybe this is a good new rule? When you pick something up put it back where you found it? I really think he just needs to understand how annoying this is to you, it’s just being a considerate husband,
Michelle Epperson
I have to admit I am the world’s worst at putting the towel back sometimes. I use it the most and often hang it on my shoulder. So when my husband and boys need it they can’t find it.
Anon
That’s a funny habit! I’ve always just kept the towel on the rack or whatever it’s hanging on while drying. Atleast it’s a harmless habit, but great reward to break it!
Andrea
“Until I brought it up, he didn’t realize he was doing it.”
How is that even possible? I mean, the second time he goes to wash and dry his hands and there’s no towel there surely he realizes he’s moved it?!
Katy (France)
I once found a friend in tears proclaiming that she had to call off her wedding! When I asked why she explained that her fiancé had borrowed her towel to take a shower and that after the shower he had blown his nose in the towel, “How can I marry a man like that ?!”. I suggested that once they were married she buy him his own special set of towels that only he uses, and that, tissue box in hand, she explain to him that it wasn’t a very acceptable habit! They did marry a few months later and so she must have worked it out 🙂
Anon.
To approximate the right behaviour maybe you could put some sort of drop box/bin in some other rooms. If he finds himself wandering around with a towel he could drop it there. (Better than finding them in random places.) Also get a stack of hand towels so there are new ones to replace the stray ones. Then figure the next steps to what you want after this, ’cause I have not thought about that.
Anonymous
Design your ideal idea of attachable hand towels for Mr H. Then ask, for example, maybe Michaela Keilen, if she does custom work, if she does, put in an order!
No more efforts required.
Ellie
Another great idea. Michael is certainly very talented.
Ellie
Anita
Perhaps you could sew a couple of them together, then sew a strap and button on it, so it’s bigger and he can access it, but it would be really inconvenient to take it off.
Anonymous
My hubby and I both have some funny habits but as they say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. We hang notes reminding us things we need to do. Mr. Handsome forgets in the moment. Hang a note by the hand towels reminding Mr. Handsome to put it back after using it. I really enjoyed reading all the comments in your last post about the berries…Jane
Candice
Our children had a similar struggle when they were younger and drying their hands. It was difficult to re-hang the towel after it fell off the rack, so I almost always found it on the bathroom floor.
Grandma came to the rescue, crocheting an extension on the end of the towel, which buttoned over the rack. (Similar to tea towels that are found on kitchen oven handles.) So now, towel stays hung up in the bathroom…and I have six so I can change them frequently! 🙂
AJ
I think Mr. Handsome just needs to stay in one spot when he dries his hands!
Mary Keim Mennonite
DONT USE HAND TOWEL IN KITCHEN BACTERIA and TOUCHING RAW MEATS ETC! PAPER TOWELS! Even if u wash ur hands still bacteria on them. mary Keim Mennonite
Candi
Oh that cracks me up. It’s funny to all us others but I’m sure very annoying to you. That picture of the towel in the fridge was too much. I wouldve busted in gales of laughter if I wouldn’t had been in amongst people at the time. That would be very surprising to find towels in odd places like that. Thanks tho for being humble to share such a personal thing. I’m sure it will help! It usually does when we just get humble enough to break open the struggles in our lives. Even funny ones like this!
Tara
Perhas it’s related to a work mindset? Moving quickly from one exam room to the next & washing hands quickly? You could buy disposable….or chain it to the towel rack. 🙂
Regina Shea
Ellie do you sew? If you do, you could sew a few larger hand towels. You could sew a loop on and put the towel through the loop on the towel rack that way your husband won’t have to take the towel off the rack because you will have made him nice larger hand towels. You could also get some tea towels, cut those in half, sew up the sides and use those.
Ellie
Thanks for the ideas, Regina. I’m a novice seamstress, so I could probably figure it out. Do you enjoy sewing?
Ellie
Regina Shea
Hi Ellie! I do enjoy sewing. I’ve had to take a break from sewing and crocheting though. I’m having a lot of pain due to recent diagnosis of lupus it makes it hard to enjoy my hobbies.
Ellie
I’m so sorry to hear that, Regina! I pray that you will be able to find relief from the pain.
Ellie
Anonymous
Fold the towel in half over the towel bar. Two big safety pins to pin it together on each side. Towel can’t walk off. Problem solved.
Anonymous
We have the exact same towel.
Justine Elizabeth Kessner
Don’t sweat the small stuff, try some cognitive behaviour, and then he will be more aware. I am trying it, and I am better with things like that. It takes time, but it will work!!!!
Anonymous
Will you please do a blog on what happens and if you two have the reward restaurant date?
Ellie
Sure thing!
Marietta
I think all of his wonderful qualities far outweigh this negative one. Are you going to let him write a post about one of your bad habits? That would be interesting to read. I do wonder how the habit came about…Is it something he grew up doing and his family never had a problem with? Or maybe they do it too?
Ellie
That’s very kind of you to say, Marietta. I agree that his wonderful qualities far outweigh his negative qualities. I’ll have to see if he would like to write a post about my bad habits.
His family doesn’t usually use hand towels (they dry their hands on whatever bath towel is hanging in the bathroom at the time). You’re right, that could be part of the issue.
Ellie
Anonymous
Can you not leave a bath towel in the bathroom too for him to use?
Davina
Men huh😊 My husband was raised in a country where domestic help is common so as an adult he was not used to doing many small household tasks (or big ones!). He ALWAYS leaves an empty toilet roll on holder and after eating uses a paper towel and then folds very small and carries around for half an hour dropping somewhere random. He is wonderful in many many other ways (like Mr Handsome I’m sure) so we work through and often laugh about the smaller things!
Anonymous
That’s just rude. There are many habits that I can deal with, but that one just seems like a lack of respect towards your house.
Anonymous
I do not think it his him trying to be disrespectful it just happens. I am a female and have done it multiple times. Where I hang my hand towel in the bathroom I feel like I need to stand in the tub to be close enough because of the set up. So I grab it off and then I find it in my living room. And for me at work we have the paper towel dispensers and if I would take them out of the restroom I can throw paper in the trash. I don’t realize I do it until I do laundry and have 3 hand towels in the hamper. I just see the empty bar and grab a new one (It has NEVER crossed my mind to go look for it!!!)
Holly
I always take the towel off and leave it on the counter, but I end up hanging it back up eventually. It’s a bad habit. Possible related to not planning enough time in the mornings? If he is in a rush maybe he is trying to multitask by drying his hands while walking somewhere else. Maybe if he had plenty of time he would at least dry his hands with the towel while remaining in the bathroom and then just hang it back up? Just a thought. That is how I am so maybe that could help.
Deborah
I have been married almost 25 years and annoying habits STILL pop up and cause hurt feelings or anger/resentment if not dealt with! (his habits and mine). I think the frustration is not so much with the towel (though this IS very annoying), but the underlying perceived cause which is lack of respect or care. I am sure there are numerous annoying habits that you both overlook in each other. After all, we can’t always point out every single little thing, but instead just have to let things go. Making a tea towel attached to a rod or getting a bigger towel might fix the annoyance but it doesn’t solve the underlying heart problem. Take care of the heart problem and you will take care of the towel problem. Keep communicating what makes you feel cherished, and give him some time to catch on. Then your victory dinner will be a win-win for sure. Blessings, Deborah
Ellie
Wise words, Deborah. Thank you for sharing!
Ellie
Tami
I annoy my husband a lot with my habits. He says sometimes that he thinks I like it that way as if I don’t care about trying and that hurts. Don’t assume someone is disrespecting you because they haven’t gotten rid of a habit. I was surprised to see that so often in the comments. Habits can be really hard to break! And if you keep on thinking so negatively about your spouse and how they are disrespecting you and how you want things that they are not doing you can easily get bitter and that can grow and destroy your marriage. Michelle Duggar once said that expectations ruin relationships. She is right. I certainly can’t say I am blameless in that, and you can certainly talk with your spouse about your preferences and try to work out solutions, but don’t assume motives or become bitter about things that are actually small.
Becky
My husband has big hands too. Best solution is not even to point it out, just hang bath towels. I have a husband and six boys… they just need TLC and a creative homemaker 😉
Jennifer M
Oh my husband! He walks in the back door after work and walks right by where all the shoes go and where everyone else takes their shoes off and walks to the dining room table and takes them off there. It bugs me so much! I remind him every day and he just doesn’t remember. One night he walked out into the kitchen in the middle
Of the night and tripped over his shoes and all he could do was laugh and told him very nicely that if he would put them where they belong he wouldn’t have that trouble 🙂
Sandy
My husband, also a very good person, has a visual impairment where he cannot tell the difference between a nice towel and an old rag that is meant only for cleaning or painting or other such work. I have had so many beautiful towels destroyed because he grabs them and uses them for something where the stains cannot come out. I found your post because I continue, after 30 years, to see if there is some solution to this problem that is practical. He grabs them off of hooks etc. where they need to be in order for me to use them, so hiding the good stuff away is not really an option for hand towels. He doesn’t mean to- he just has no sense of what looks nice and what doesn’t – a towel is a towel to him. Even color coding doesn’t seem to help. I am open to ideas?