And now, a blog post from Mr. Handsome…
Apparently throughout history, some of the most highly intelligent people in the world have struggled with difficult questions such as: Do I exist, does this chair I am sitting on exist, does the floor that the chair is sitting on exist, does the universe that the chair is in exist, is my mind controlled by some alien civilization in another universe, and of course my personal favorite, does the button at the crosswalk actually do anything, or is it just there for show.
For all those people looking for answers, you are in luck. Last night I woke up to a screaming Little Buddy and realized it was my turn to feed him, change his diaper, and beg him to please go back to sleep. While doing this, I thought it would be a great time to answer those philosophical questions.
“Why is there something rather than nothing?” I am really wondering the same thing. I mean, he filled his diaper just 90 minutes ago and has not eaten anything in between, but now there is definitely “something” rather than nothing in that diaper.
“Do we have free will?” This is an easy one to answer, and the answer is a resounding no! If I had free will, would I really be changing this diaper at 2:00 in the morning? I think not.
“Is there a higher power?” This is also easy to answer. The answer is yes……. that would be my wife. She made it very clear that it was my turn to change this diaper….and believe me, you do not disobey a sleep-deprived mother at 2:00 in the morning. When mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. (Disclaimer, this is a joke, not meant to be blasphemous. The real higher power is God in heaven.)
“Does this chair exist?” The answer is no. Usually there is a small chair next to the baby bed. For some reason the chair has been moved, which I learned the hard way while trying to sit in it in the dark. The good news: the loud thud woke Little Buddy up fully, and now I can answer some more philosophy questions while trying to put him back to sleep.
“Does the poop that squirted out of the diaper and soiled Little Buddy’s clothes exist?” That question is a bit of a sore subject that I would rather not discuss.
“Do I exist?” Yes, and how do I know? Because I am now covered in the excrement from question number 5.
“Do numbers exist?” Yes, and this is diaper change number 4 for the night….not that I’m counting or anything.
“What is life?” I wouldn’t know. Anyone that has children has no life.
“What is death?” Death is what happens to someone who foolishly wakes Little Buddy.
“Is there life after death?” I would ask that question to my brother who is staying the night with us and decided 2:00am would be the perfect time to cook himself a little snack in the microwave, which woke up Little Buddy. He may know the answer to that question in a few minutes.
“Do the needs of the few outweigh the needs of the many?” Yes. Mommy and Daddy need sleep, time alone with each other, time to take a shower, a chance to just sit down for two seconds, a chance to brush their teeth, and psychological counseling. But the little guy needs his diaper changed, and his needs are more important than those of the many.
“What is time?” As I have stated before, the time is 2:00am.
“What is truth?” The truth of the matter is that this diaper will not change itself, so I might as well get to work and just finish the job.
“Who am I?” That is another easy one. I am the poor schmuck awake at 2:00am changing diapers and answering all of life’s difficult questions.”What is beauty?” Beauty is when your baby wakes up in the morning and smiles at you and makes his cute little “coo” sound. Beauty is when you pick up Little Buddy and sit on the bed next to your wife and watch the soft morning sun rays shine through the curtains and gently touch her face. Beauty is when you give her a good morning kiss and say you wouldn’t change your life for anything!
Candi
Oh. My. Goodness. So good, Mr H!!! You sure do have a knack for writing! You have a hi five ✋🏻 from me for letting the mama sleep and taking your turn getting “dirty”! So funny to read about it but I’m sure it wasn’t funny at 2:00 in the morning. I have good memories of my hubby taking his turn with baby in the night and finding them both sleeping in the chair till he realized baby was sleeping and he put her down and crept back to bed. Thank God for the awesome daddy’s out there!!
Eileen
Wonderful post Mr H.
Anonymous
I loved your post Mr H., and the things you said about holding your baby as you kissed your wife and how you wouldn’t change anything was so sweet. Thumps up for a man who loves his family. 👍
Anonymous
This post is both witty and sentimental. Love it! You are blessed, Ellie!
Anonymous
Maybe the whole blog post is “just there for show.” Touche`!
Sarah Liston
Ah yes, it all makes sense now. Thank you Mr. Handsome.
anon
mr handsome has such a great sense of humor about those nightly feedings and diaper changes lol!
Anonymous
I guess the hamster that runs the wheel of your brain was a bit peeved to be doing all this extra work .
CJOHN
😊 Enjoyed this post. You both are great writers.
Anonymous
Ellie- Please keep your blog as something for you. I used to read it because I appreciated your voice. All of these videos with your husband and promoting your husband’s paintings and these posts that your husband writes are getting old. He completely overshadows you and it makes me sad to think that he won’t even let you have your own small corner of the internet. He already has a career, hobbies, a doting wife- he does not need to take over this outlet of yours as well.
Anonymous
I think Ellie wants her husband to do things with her. I do miss hearing Ellie’s voice and hearing things just about her. 🙂
MarriedUK
I disagree. I just get the vibe that Mr H is being supportive of Ellie’s blog- and her. He obviously doesn’t want to diminish her. The blog is clearly still her domain and mainly features her voice.
Re: daddies on night duty…
Once my husband and I had a terrible hissed argument at 3am. I heard crying and poked him awake because I was tired and it was HIS TURN to see to the baby. He barely woke up and mumbled that the screeching I could hear was just a cat in the road. Full of rage and determined to prove him wrong, I stormed from our bedroom into my son’s room, only to see his little chest rising and falling as he silently slumbered. From out of the room, I then heard the sound of a Tom cat screeching. I was so angry- irrationally- that I kinda considered waking my son up. THAT WOULD HAVE SHOWN MY HUSBAND WHO HAD CORRECTLY DIAGNOSED THE SITUATION. In a rage I stormed back to bed and couldn’t sleep because I was so cross…
We laugh about it now…
Anonymous
She could change the title to Nashville Husband and Wife.
Anon
Oh no! You’re doing just fine Ellie! I for one love to read Mr H’s posts. He does it so few and far between that there is absolutely no danger of him overshadowing the blog and I don’t think he would ever want to. He has enough stuff going. It’s just so interesting when he actually does.
Laura
I think it’s nice that Mr H supports Ellie and honestly it seems good for a man to reflect on household matters and being involved. Otherwise it would be the husband all about his career and the wife all about the house, which in my modest opinion doesn’t end well.
So I think that Ellie and Mr H display a good model in that.
But maybe it is true that it would be nice to hear a little more of Ellie’s voice, since this is mainly her space.
Anonymous
It takes a husband to make a wife. I think the blog is blessed to have Mr Handsome give such thought filled input. I appreciate his posts and posts about anything to do with him every bit as much as any other post Ellie posts. I just want to take a moment to say this because this commenter seems to be knocking a good thing. Please don’t attempt to discourage, because what a blessing to read or watch everything they have blessed readers with. Thank you both so much Ellie and Mr Handsome. And I’d just like to add that showing the standard of living, and I mean everything co-operatively they have done so far and how they have done things, makes aware the reality of a marriage. Now there is a wide road to enter on by wide gate when children are growing up and people are young adults. Guidance in Christian living even by show and tell example, is important to people seeking a vision for their lives. Now-a-days it could become a very strange world out there, with no standards of relationships. (But that is actually wrong example show and tell which should not be imitated.)
Anonymous
What? I would never have thought someone would say that. I think it’s absolutely great to see a husband writing on his wife’s blog! I’m positive it’s an honor to her. It would be to me if my husband showed enough interest in what I was doing to contribute to it! This was a great post – very witty and funny!
By the way though, as a mom of a still young 4, don’t think you need to be feeding little Buddy at night any more unless it’s a medical thing. Try giving him a little water. We keep water in our kids’ beds in non-spillable bottles. If a baby doesn’t expect to be fed at night, he’ll go back to sleep easier. I’m a scheduling mom all the way!! 🙂
Ellie
I am flattered to hear that you enjoy my posts. That really does make my day. I enjoy sharing some of my husband’s endeavors, as well as posts that he writes for the blog because I am proud of him, and I like his humor. And I think it’s also good to switch things up from time-to-time. But I will make sure that it doesn’t take over the blog. 🙂
Thanks for being a loyal reader!
Ellie
Regina
I love this post Mr. H. And Ellie I love it when you and Mr. H do videos together and when your husband does guest posts. Please keep them coming! He’s so funny and I can tell he is enjoying fatherhood.
Thank you again
Michelle
Mr. H, that was so awesome. LOL
I think it’s wonderful that both of you are posting. It shows a great perspective from both sides and is a help to all the young adults reading your blog. It great to see the humor in diaper changing and caring for a little one. Great work!
Justine kessner
Hey, Ellie, one can say Mr Handsome, is doing “The Thinking Statue”, but cause it’s a about diapers, the statue would be called, “The Stinker Statue”, LOL!!!!!!! I love U 3!!!!!
Anonymous
I don’t think Mr. H. should stop writing his post in here. He has a different personality then you do Ellie and so it adds variety to the blog. I like that both of you add things here.
Laura
To Mr Handsome: I read somewhere recently that the button at the crosswalk is just a placebo effect.
Ellie
Haha! I’ll have to tell him that.
S.T.
As a mom of 8, I really enjoyed this! I think you should see about having it published in a parenting magazine. Very funny!
Ellie
That’s a good idea! Wow, 8 kiddos! What are the ages?
Ellie