*This post was written by Mr. Handsome.
I know millennials have gotten a bad rap for not being willing to work, so I thought it would be good for me to recount my hard day of yard work just to prove that the stereotype is incorrect.
Ellie had a handful of yard projects she wanted me to complete, so I decided that I was going to have a super productive, full day and set my alarm for 7:00am. My alarm chirped, and I woke with a start, ready to accomplish all the tasks on the honey-do list.
However, before getting out of bed, I began an internal discussion as to the wisdom of getting up at that particular moment. “Science says getting a full night of sleep is the key to being productive,” I thought, “and I certainly want to be productive today. Plus, Ellie and Little Buddy are sleeping soundly, and if I get out of bed right now I may wake them up, which would be very inconsiderate.” I quickly realized that getting out of bed at that particular early hour was not in the best interest of anyone, so I hit the snooze button. This was simply the wisest choice and of course had nothing to do with the fact that I had stayed up late watching Andy Griffith reruns and was tired and groggy. And what would 5 minutes of extra sleep hurt anyway?
At about 9:00am I heard a loud thud in the bedroom. I jumped to my feet only to realize that the sound was my body hitting the floor after being rolled out of bed by Ellie. “Time to get to work,” she announced. I put on my work clothes and was heading out the door when a thought hit me. “In order to work hard and be productive, one has to be well nourished.” Before the door slammed shut, I did a U-turn and high-tailed it to the kitchen. Good protein is necessary for a hard worker, so I proceeded to cook myself a meal of bacon, eggs, hash browns, and pancakes, plus a glass of chocolate milk to wash it all down. After breakfast, I waddled back outside around 10:30am and began raking and picking up sticks.
The next thirty minutes were some of the most productive a person could have. The sun was was out, the birds were chirping, and everything was going great, until I had a startling revelation: I was thirsty. Anyone in the medical field knows that dehydration is a serious problem on warm days, and the last thing anyone needed was me making a trip to the emergency room to get IV fluids. Naturally, the only thing to do was to take a lemonade break. As I sat on the porch with a big glass of sweet goodness, Ellie walked by and said, “Nice to see you working hard.” It sure is good to have a wife who appreciates a man hard at work!
After a lemonade break, I began raking up some dead leaves left over from last fall and was working hard until, unfortunately, the clock stuck noon. Now federal law requires that employers give their employees a lunch break, and I certainly don’t want to disobey federal law, so I decided I had better stop for lunch. Thankfully, there were some leftover BBQ ribs in the fridge that heated up quite nicely.
Over lunch, a thought struck me. The neighbor boy down the street would be going to college soon and surely needed to make some money in preparation. The neighborly thing to do would be to pay him to do the yard work. In fact, it would be selfish for me not to hire him to take care of the yard. I dialed his mom’s number, but unfortunately he was playing video games and was not about to leave his Call of Duty to get paid five dollars an hour to do my lawn. Kids these days just don’t understand what real work is. When I was a teenager, I was overjoyed to get paid 50 cents to mow a lawn.
After a good lunch and a short nap, I was ready to go again. I put in a solid hour when my cell phone rang. It was my good friend calling to tell me about his latest fishing trip. I attempted to talk while continuing my yard work but decided that the kind thing to do would be to give him my full, undivided attention. He started telling me all about the big fish he had just reeled in, and before I knew it, the sun was starting to set, so I had to cut our conversation short.
I worked for another 20 minutes and then decided I had better start cleaning up before it got too dark. Exhausted, I headed inside and laid down on the couch. “Ellie, aren’t you proud of the hard day of work I put in?” I asked my wife. “Absolutely,” she choked. “It’s such a joy being married to such hard worker!”
Benita
I LOVE THIS!!!!!!
Anonymous
I can’t believe a dentist drinks chocolate milk, lemonade, and full-sugar Coke. Starting to wonder if that’s merely your cover and you are the one who took the CIA job……. Maybe you implant transmitters in back teeth. I don’t know. This is all smelling fishy, and I don’t mean because of any fishing trip. Ellie – have you done a full background check on this yahoo??? It’s not too late. And blink twice if you need help.
Anonymous
Mr. Handsome’s written post gave me a chuckle,but this comment gave me a even more chuckle! Lol. Jane
SallySays
Come on! Do you believe he drinks this all the time? It is probably his day off do he is just chilling.
Anonymous
My gosh Sally, even I can tell that post was a joke and they were kidding. It’s so obvious.
S
Anonymous @10:25 am. It’s probably sugar free chocolate Milk. All he had to do was buy sugar free syrup and mix it was milk.
When I go to the dentist my dentist is always drink regular pop.
The lemonade is probably sugarfree.
Abbie
Hahaha, this is hilarious! Mr. H is a very good writer!
K Weber
Too funny! lol
Anonymous
It’s easy to get side tracked when there’s work to be done, Lol. Jane
Sarah Liston
Haha! I always enjoy Mr. Handsome’s posts.
Anonymous
Awe….Mr Handsome you are so sweet! You have such a sense of wholesomeness! Ellie should be honoured to have such a loving husband, who freely dedicates every moment of his day off to thinking about her hopes and serving around the home. Practice makes perfect, I think you got about 88%! Very nicely written, thank-you for sharing!
darlene
lol, absolutely loved the honesty, lol!! great job mr handsome
(ellie, you are lucky to have someone with such a great sense of humor! he will always make you laugh)
Regina
This was so funny! Thank you Mr. H!
Candi
Ha ha yea hard worker alright!! So funny…thanks Mr H for a post again 😅 and HAPPY MOTHERS DAY to you Ellie!! Your first one is always special.
Ellie
Thank you, Candi! It was a special day. Happy Mother’s Day to you as well! 🙂
Ellie
Marilyn
Hi Ellie, Wishing you a blessed Mother’s Day.
HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY
Joan,Marion and Marilyn
Ellie
Thank you very much! It was a great day.
Ellie
Eileen
This post was lots of fun. My husband and I tackle our yard work together and somehow the fun we have with each other make the chores a much lighter task. Ellie, maybe Mr H needs 2 days to tackle the yard work? LOL I hope everyone had a wonderful Mothers Day especially all the new Moms out there like Ellie. Eileen
Abagail
Your blog was funny and while millennials are known as being lazy one has hope that you aren’t a Bernie Sanders socialist (yuck).
Anonymous
Yuck? You really think that it would be yucky if this country had a leader who believed in climate change, wanted the minimum wage raised, wanted everyone to have access to affordable health care, was pro-gun, wanted the rich to pay their fair share of the taxes, wanted free college educations, was anti-war, and took no super PAC campaign money? Nothing is going to change Constitutional democracy into socialism. But I sure hope something is going to change it from the mess it’s in right now. Talk about “yuck.” (Let’s have equal time here.)
Lk
Mr. needs his own blog. Great piece!
anonymous
Nice job of writing an interesting blog post Mr H. I enjoyed reading it. There’s food for thought in that story. One thing I’d like to focus on, to comment on, is your hands. They are tools of your trade, which is dentistry. Your hands do the important work in peoples mouths most days of the week. Realize hard yard work can be very tough on the hands. I hired myself out to do yard labour 3 xs last week and worked 9-5, 1-5, 1-5. Since my right hand has had carpal tunnel and the wrist was strained not sprained, making it sore and tender to move. My nails were embedded with dirt, I had dirty hang nails, some of the skin between my nails and finger is still torn open. There are scratch scabs all of the way up my forearms. I still have numerous nicks and scratches on my hands and a bloody, scabby raw blister on my thumb from raking. I could go on but I think I’ve described the rough condition of my hands and fore arms as a consequence of the hours of yard work I did. It is unlikely a person can do this kind of work delicately, one has to literally dig in. Its kind of fun when one does.However, if you abuse your hands too much, as a dentist, you might even have to cancel appointments to work in dentistry, until YOUR hands get healed up enough to be good tools of the trade.
Anonymous
I don’t think this is very funny. I’m not sure why so many people do… Ellie is home all week taking care of her son alone and her husband spends the weekends goofing off? Not spending time with his son and giving Ellie a break? I did not find it very humorous that he’s sleeping in and Ellie’s the one up with the baby and caring for him alone all day while he does not even do the one thing she’s asked him to do…
anonymous
Today…I am supposed to set up a garage sale for my employer, I’m already 1.5 hours behind my planned start time and I’m thinking about going to get something to eat from a coffee shop before I start. Then I happened to be scrolling through Ellie’s blogs and came across this. I think I know how this day is gonna go, thanks for your insights Mr H.