This post was written by Mr. Handsome’s youngest sister, Lena.
I would like to file an official complaint about inconsiderate people with children. I recently went on a tour of a cave, and there was a couple with a
young child who completely ruined the experience for me.
The first sign that things would be a problem happened when they were in line to buy tickets. Their son looked to be about one year old and was the squirmiest little thing I had ever seen. He kept flailing about
and going crazy and wanting to be put down and then picked back up…over and over.
“Now be a good boy in the cave, Little Buddy” the mom told her son, as if he could understand. Something told me that Little Buddy had no intention of being a good little boy. And who calls their son Little Buddy, anyway?
The kid started warming up his vocal chords before we even made it inside the cave. He quickly realized that the enclosed space really amplified the volume and added a nice echo. Little Buddy promptly began an audio display of his entire vocabulary, which consisted of various howls and screeches. I was actually quite impressed with the piercing high notes he could hit.
The tour guide asked the couple if they wanted to turn around and leave the cave. The wife, who was apparently named Ellie, told the guide that Little Buddy was just working out some energy and would be fine once we got a bit further into the cave.
Not surprisingly, that didn’t happen. The child saved up his energy until we were in the deepest bowels of the cave–about thirty minutes into the tour–to really show us the power of his vocal tubes. At the climax of the tour, the guide had the bright idea (no pun intended) of turning off the lights to show us true and complete darkness.
As soon as the lights went out, the little guy started screaming at the top of his lungs. His mom quickly turned on her phone light to console him, which completely ruined the effect and did absolutely nothing–Little Buddy continued howling for the next fifteen minutes, long after the lights
had been restored.
I was elated when two security personnel finally escorted the young couple and their son out of the cave. We all cheered as they were hauled away and left the rest of the tour in peace. As they were leaving, the wife leaned over to her husband and said, “Mr. Handsome, I knew it wasn’t a good idea to take Little Buddy on a tour of a cave.” Who calls their husband Mr. Handsome, anyway?
Mr. Handsome smirked and replied, “Well at least we should get a good blog post out of the experience.”
I later learned that this troublesome couple was removed from the premises and not given a refund for their tickets. Thank goodness–that is exactly what inconsiderate people with misbehaved children deserve. I am certainly glad I have never met or have no relation to Mr. Handsome, Ellie, and Little Buddy.
Anonymous
guess what miss Lena, you’re most likely not going on any more outings with these “inconsiderate” people !!!!!
Anonymous
One parent should stayed with Little Buddy outside and the other parent went in the cave with Lena.
Vickie
Children can be unpredictable in new experiences. But, an echoey place is usually where they are the loudest. No one wants to be that parent, but it happens. So sorry you were forced out and not refunded the price of your tickets.
Anonymous
Grateful not to have been in that tour group. No humor intended in my comment.
Barb
Tell Lena she is a very clever blogger, much like her brother and sister-in-law.
Mom of three
Ha! Very funny. Shame on that couple who brought their 1 year-old to a cave tour, whoever they are!
Anonymous
Good for the cave staff! I can’t stand when people bring babies into places that are clearly not baby-friendly. The world does not revolve around you and Little Buddy. It was very rude and inconsiderate of you to do that. I’m glad you were escorted out and did not get your money back! I feel bad for everyone else on the tour with you. I hope they got their money back too.
On a different note, can Lena and Mr. Handsome write more posts on here? They are hilarious writers!
Candi
Don’t you know or care that to be so direct with your msg can be rude also? There’s different ways to write the same thing that doesn’t come off so rudely. And Cmon, we’ve all had times in our lives (especially with children) that we were humiliated greatly. So Mr H and Ellie aren’t the first ones. As soon as I read this, I knew they would be jumped upon. But let’s be sensitive on how we come across to others as a lot of the time we’re guilty of just the same of what we’re accusing of, just maybe in a different way.
Anonymous
I agree with everything you said 100%! I think Lena and Ellie’s husband are way more interesting writers.
Barb
I think they are each one interesting and funny in their own unique way. I find Ellie’s mommy and wife and homemaker blogs very well thought out and expressive. Ellie’s travelogs are very interesting and informational. I also like the occasional humorous blog posts of Ellie’s husband. I wouldn’t want them change a thing about this Blog.
Anonymous
6:16AM is probably going to get push-back for those comments, but I have to somewhat agree. At the first wail that didn’t stop, that should have been it for the parents and the baby, without waiting to be asked about leaving or being escorted out. You can’t always control how much noise a small child makes, but you can control your actions when that starts up. You also need to be considerate of those who have paid to attend wherever you are, and be more mindful of finding babysitters for events like this. I know you’ve said Mr. H has a big family, so a sitter shouldn’t be a problem. A 1 yr. old can’t appreciate or remember being in a cave anyway. Save the trips like this for when he can.
A
Thanks for sharing Lena, I guess the sound effect on one would be as bad as nails scratching on a black board.
Also a mom
Oh my word!!! It was not very rude of you to bring your baby on your trip; are babies supposed to never go anywhere?! My goodness. Kids are unpredictable no matter how old they are, and I think it’s grest you try to give your son varied experiences! 🙂
I am sorry that it was a difficult experience for you guys though. As he gets older, he might appreciate it more… then you and Mr. Handsome will too!
Thanks for sharing!
Anonymous
Everyone seems to be getting upset over people who comment when someone says that it was wrong to allow a screaming crying baby to continue crying on what is clearly not an experience the baby should be on in the first place. When your child is fussy then remove the child from that situation. Most of us here have kids and not me or anyone I know had to be escorted out of any place because of our babies. Sheesh use common courtesy and leave with your baby when it’s out of control.
Candi
Good writing, Lena! I can see you take after your brother!
Sallysays
They say that you learn though experience. Babies have a mind of their own. Ah well at least it has provided more feed for the blog.
Anonymous
Obviously the post was written in jest. I am sure little Buddy was not as energetic or loud as stated. It was a cave tour not a museum not a fancy restaurant. Good grief! Parents don’t have to stay at home for years, so things can be quiet for everyone else.
My family and I went on a cave tour back in September. People talked and joked around throughout the tour. When the tour guide would stop and address the crowd everyone would get quiet but being quiet wasn’t necessary for most of the tour.
Anonymous
I disagree 7:24. I think parents have a responsibility not to let their children upset everyone else in public. That means knowing what your child can tolerate, knowing what they can’t, and removing them as quickly as possible if they start acting up and can’t be calmed. There have been plenty of times in public when I’ve wanted to scream (lol), but I can control myself. If I did scream, it probably wouldn’t be tolerated well. Same feelings apply to screaming kids. Although you might be able to sympathize with the parent, the screaming has to be stopped, for everyone’s sake. I would personally be tolerant if I knew the disruptive child had a cognitive disorder, but Little Buddy does not have that. He was too young to be on a cave tour, and that was an unfortunate parental decision.
Anonymous
Children cry. That is life. If you are in a church service or nice restaurant, then take them out. An outdoor type adventure is not the same. A one year cannot possibly understand to be quiet. It would be different if he was five and misbehaving. They could not possibly know how little Buddy would react until they took him. They paid for the tour as well.
Anonymous
10:26, it’s called situational awareness. It’s not hard to guess that a baby is going to be scared in a dark cave, and they should have left as soon as he started crying, and possibly could have gotten their money back if they had left at the beginning. Instead, they decided to continue on with their child in an unnecessary situation where he was distressed, not to mentioned annoying other people. It was very rude on their part, and to act like the tour guide was at all in the wrong is dramatic.
Anonymous
Shaame on you Ellie & Mr.Handsome for taking Little Buddy in to s cave. You should be banned from other place tell Little Buddy is old enough .
Anonymous
My husband and I just experienced a similar situation only we weren’t the ones with the crying fussy baby. We saved up for a special date night and went to an expensive fancy restaurant which was a special treat for us to be able to go there. We walked in and it was so beautiful and warm and on each table there were candles and a small bouquet of flowers. We were seated and were given a warm welcome and a menu. About 5 minutes after arriving a women with a young baby along with her husband and a couple of their friends came in and were seated at a table a couple tables from ours. Within minutes the baby started crying and would not stop. Now I have 3 young children and would not dream of bringing them to a restaurant like this because not only is there now one thing on the menu that a young child would want but also people are paying a lot for this experience to eat here and if I could afford to eat there then I could afford a sitter for my children. The owner came over to her table a couple times inviting her to a separate room to give the baby a bottle and to be able to calm the baby down to which the mother said the baby is just tired. So we had to listen to this baby cry as we ate. People please be considerate of other people. Some people have saved and look so forward to special chances to enjoy these experiences and not everyone has money to travel a lot or eat out at fancy places so be thoughtful to others.
Anonymous
I don’t think a fancy restaurant is equivalent of an outdoor tour like this.
Anonymous
A cave is not outdoors. It’s an echo chamber. The others on the tour had no way to get away from the noise. The noise had to get away from them, and should have had at the first wail, without being asked or escorted away.
Kay
Was a funny post, but did you seriously get kicked out?? I was also asked once on a tour to stay behind in the last room and see if I could quiet my very fussy baby. But being told to leave is a bit over the top. People really should try to understand.
Ellie
Yep, we did get kicked out. The tour guide asked a couple times if we wanted to leave, and we said that we didn’t mind if no one else did. No one else said anything, so we just kept going. Then after a short while, she called someone to come escort us out and didn’t give us a choice. The other tour guide was very kind, and he tried to be nice and share some more info about the cave as we walked out, but the other guide heard and did not like that, and she yelled at him. I felt bad for the pour guy. 🙁 I think the female guide was just having a rough day.
Ellie
Anonymous
You seriously thought it would be a good idea to take such a young child into such a place? Guess you learned on the spot and won’t make that mistake again.
Kay
Wow, I don’t find that right. You paid for the tour just as much as anyone else did. And I can’t believe some of the comments on here. Sigh. Sometimes what was meant to be funny gets nastiness from other people. Too bad. But it was a good post, and I did find it funny. I think most people with kids would (or should!) sympathize!
Anonymous
Just because you paid for something doesn’t give you the right to disrupt it for everyone else.
Kay
As a mother I certainly do not mind a crying baby as much as some people obviously do. In fact I would have probably found it a little funny and mostly not even noticed it because I am so used to my own kids. What would have upset me is the reaction of the tour guide. I would not have appreciated hearing someone else get treated that way!
Anonymous
Kay I don’t agree with what you said. They probably had a sign up not kids allowed.
If my mom was still alive she who have told the couple i’ll take your kid outside for you and meet you outside when your done,
Diana
Asking if people mind a child screaming while a tour guide is trying to give a tour demonstrates naivete or a lack of care for others. 🙁
The post was very well written, I agree, but it highlighted selfishness albeit in a humorous way.
Anonymous
Huh?, the female guide was having a bad day? I’m thinking she was there to provide an interesting and learning experience for all the paying customers who were on the tour and felt flustered and agitated that you would not remove your crying child so that the others could have a pleasant learning experience. The poor male guide should have never been put in that situation in the first place, because you should have left on your own.Sheesh Ellie talk about a lack of self awareness!
Anonymous
I don’t understand why you would only leave if others had an issue with your baby crying?
No one will ever say they have an issue since they ate being polite and courteous. I’m sure prior to having the baby, there was a situation where another baby cried too long that bothered you or your husband. Sometimes parents forget what it feels like for others when a child is crying too long since their own child does no wrong. Whether you have children or not, no one wants to hear a child crying over an extended period. Lastly, please don’t blame the tour guide for your bad decision – that’s not fair since she had other people in the tour group that she had to consider besides your family.
Anonymous
The female tour guide should not have yelled at her co-worker especially in front of all of the tour guests. It was completely unprofessional. If she decided that y’all needed to leave, she still could have handled it in a kind manner. I am sorry you had to go through that!
Anonymous
Thank you Lena ! Well-done. Yes, babies do not belong in caves….now you know.
Anonymous
Is this what actually happened or a dramatization by Lena? Same comment to the people who have commented. You never know how a little one will react in situations like this but if you never try they never learn either.
Mom of three
Most people would not admit that they would like for you to take a fussy baby out, especially in the south. We’re too polite, but just wait until they get in the car! They will complain. If you can take a fussy baby to another location, preferably away from paying customers, do it. We parents really need to think about how our loud children effect others around us.
Anonymous
I agree with 8:31 that Southerners are too polite to say anything to your face. I visit TN every summer and have seen huge differences in how people there react to situations such as this as compared to in NJ where I live. People are much more impatient, blunt, and direct in the Northeast. If this incident had taken place in NJ, people would give you dirty looks and would have told you to your face to leave. I’ve seen it happen firsthand to people with noisy babies and toddlers at restaurants, concerts, and theaters. I actually got a really obnoxious family kicked out of my gym yesterday, because the parents let their preschoolers run around screaming their heads off while people were trying to work out. In addition to it being extremely annoying, it was also a major safety hazard, because the kids could have gotten stepped on or had heavy equipment dropped on them. Parents really need to realize that the world does not revolve around them and their children. Not everything that their kids do are cute and wonderful!
Anonymous
I hope you got to see some cool stuff before you had to leave. You never know how the kids will be until you try.
Anonymous
This is good experience for Mr and Mrs H. Another just what you think, its your example they need to experience. So that after they pour out their heart and soul on their litre Buddy they can expect days in the future when he will not want that intense connection in public… Lol!!!
Jesussaves
Live and learn😄
Teresa
Wow! People are being brutal on here. I am sure being removed from the cave tour sent the message that it wasn’t a good fit for Little Buddy that day. She doesn’t need to be raked over the coals by every supporter of her blog. As a mom of 2 boys, I know I have made bad judgement calls so cut her a little slack.
Anonymous
Exactly, some heavy mom shaming going on!
Momof9
Wow. I’m sad to see they got so much backlash. I’m guessing none of these people were ever imperfect children themselves. I’m guessing perfect adults now, too. Well, I say good job for taking your baby. I love to take my kids wherever I go. Roll with the punches! It’s life. Some people are crabby. Some are happy. What do you do but forgive them and keep on doing what you are doing.
Anonymous
What does IFB mean???
Anonymous
If this had been in the Northeast, there’s a good chance somebody would have slapped your son. We hate bratty babies up there!
Anonymous
I also live in the Northeast and I have never come close to slapping a stranger’s child, nor have I ever experienced anyone else do so.
Anonymous
A baby can’t be bratty! Wow! I am thankful not to live anywhere near you!
Tina
You don’t do cave exploration with such a little child the same way you don’t take it camping as you did. I do not mean to mom-shame you but it’s just common sense!
Anonymous
Physical discipline…sometimes it is necessary. You should have put your hand over his mouth.
MarriedUK
Is this a joke?
Margaret MacInnis
Aww, as a mother of 2 now-grown sons, I’ve been in situations that called for a little more attention to how others are REALLY feeling, versus what they say they are feeling. I remember those days, and I remember making mistakes; that’s why it’s called learn as you go, not knowing it all! Live and Learn, is all I have to say. NO one is a perfect parent; we all do our best and I’m sure you do, too.
Anonymous
Yes,every parent makes bad judgement,me and my two year old were waiting at an internet point while my husband was using a computer,although I was keeping an eye on my son and was standing beside him I was’nt able to stop him on time when he pressed a button on a computer system and switched off while someone had just paid a plane ticket but ended up losing it so he complained to the owner that he had to call his bank to cancel the payment me and my child were asked to leave although I said nothing I felt they could have handled it better as I did apologise,they culd have told me to stay and to have the child sit on my lap,and they could have handled it better with Ellie and Mr H,they could have ask them to stay further back or asked the other tourists if they minded,I mean they could be parents too,they probably understand.
Another mom
Ellie, I think you’re a great mom. I cannot believe the critical comments here! When we are in public, it’s just a fact of life that there will be people and situations beyond our control. If people cannot handle irritations and not being in control of their environment, then THEY should know better than to put themselves into situations where things may not go as they prefer.
I think it’s important to expose children to different situations. How else will they learn, about the world around them and how to behave in it? And no, contrary to what some have said you cannot always accurately predict how a baby will respond to a cave, concert, restaurant, or whatever. If there was no policy against taking babies in, you weren’t really doing anything wrong as long as you were attempting to quiet your baby and minimize the interference. I’m really disappointed in your tour guide and the whole company for how they treated you.
Tree
I agree with this commenter!
Tiffany
Sorry about the cave experience with your son. It’s hard to know if your young child will do ok . But it’s happened to all us at some point . We took my boys to a cave when they were 4 and 6 and they loved it .. maybe y’all can go again alone or when he is older . We just took our kids a few weeks ago to the Biltmore and my 3 year old wasn’t the best during the tour . It was her nap time, but it was the only time they had left for that day . She still enjoyed it but she wanted to run around . When it came to the outside stuff they had she did really Well.
I do know that the dark can be pretty scary for little ones . My 3 year old still doesn’t Like it when there is no light at all.
Ellie
We still need to go to the Biltmore! I hear it’s amazing. Was it decorated for Christmas when you went?
Ellie
Anonymous
It’s not “the Biltmore,” it’s “Biltmore.” That’s the name of the house. Most houses or estates of the wealthy from that era had names, usually one word or a variation of the family name. My friend’s great-grandparents owned a huge named estate like that outside of Philadelphia. The house was modeled after Biltmore.
Ellie
That’s true, although in the South, everyone calls it “the Biltmore.” 🙂
Ellie
OhioMama
I would have been that person to walk over and ask if you would like some help. I was like that even before I had kids. I grew up in a huge family so kids crying and carrying on don’t bother me. You never know how a child is going to behave, even when going to the mall. My oldest has had a meltdown in the mall to where I’m dragging him out to the car to leave and parents are looking at me. Sometimes they are feeling so much and there little bodies can’t handle it so they have a break down, it’s our jobs as parents to help them cope with those feelings, which is easier said then done at times. Ellie you keep doing what you feel is right cause there isn’t a right way to parent a child, you have to follow your gut. Merry Christmas to you, Mr. Handsome and Little Buddy.
Ellie
Merry Christmas, OhioMama! Hope you have a wonderful day with your family.
Ellie
Tiffany
Yes it was. My kids really enjoyed it . It was our second time going with our boys. And their favorite is the big gingerbread house of the Biltmore .
Ellie
Sounds very neat, Tiffany! Perhaps we will have to go next year at Christmastime.
Ellie
Ellyn
Too funny!!
Anonymous
I’m not a mom yet, although I have one in the oven, my take away from this story is that very young children should not be taken on guided tours. If you don’t know how your child is going to react or you’re working on behaviour it’s probably best to go to non guided things where you can stop/ take breaks at your and your child’s own pace and not risk disturbing others as much. Thanks for the heads up.
Ellie
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Ellie
A Reader
Everything about this post is why I love your blog! The writing by your sister-in-law is clever. The comments are ridiculous and hilarious. And you are, as alway, so gracious.
Anonymous
You should have just shoved his beloved pacifier in his mouth. Problem solved!